Doesn’t anyone in Alaska have a cell phone? Ever since news was released that the Palin family was involved in a drunken, 20-person brawl at a birthday party, we’ve wanted to see it. So far, we have been treated to multiple witness accounts, one from an anonymous “friend” of the Palin family who portrayed the Palin WasilMania combatants as victims.
No one — not even the police — denies that the brawl occurred and that the Palins were involved. The company hosting the party for its twin owners fired one employee who gave his account of the events. According to Eric Thompson, the party was peaceful until the Palin clan arrived — then it “turned into Jerry Springer.”
Some witnesses say that Track Palin confronted a man who dated one of his sisters, while another says that the problem really began when Track and his friends wandered around drunkenly propositioning female partygoers. One notable remark from Track is his telling women that he would “bend” them “over the lawn.”
According to a witness, the husband of one of the women Track Palin harassed delivered a fistful of justice, leaving Track sprawled on the lawn. Track’s friends then became involved, and the fight grew from there.
Ultimately, the fight culminated in Bristol Palin repeatedly punching the party’s host in the face, and Sarah flinging herself on top of the mob, before the entire Palin clan was removed from the premises.
Team Palin claims that Track was innocent. Though the Palin family has yet to make a statement. According to the unnamed source, Palin was actually yelling “Don’t you know who he is? He’s a vet!” after Track was allegedly assaulted for no reason by four men. The brawl reportedly left Todd Palin with a bloody nose as well. Sarah went full “mama grizzly,” according to the source. Apparently, all poor, innocent Sarah did was defend her family.
Eric Thompson’s wife has spoken up in response to the Palin “witness'” claims. Roberta, who admits she is not fond of Palin, says that the brawl became “quite, quite violent.”
“What I saw was two girls run past and run towards Korey,” Thompson told Talking Points Memo. “And then I just saw Bristol Palin start punching him in the face.”
Thompson said that the host, Korey Klingenmeyer, maintained remarkable composure during the attack. “She kept punching him and then he just said, you know, ‘You need to go,’” she explained.
Klingenmeyer took the Palins out of her sight and ejected them shortly after Bristol Palin assaulted him.
Gossip rag Radar Online suspects that there might be trouble brewing in the Palin relationship, as she has foregone her usual ridiculous amount of makeup as of late. The site posted a picture of Palin discreetly giving the finger to the camera, noting that her wedding ring is missing.
“Yup, here’s what I looked like sans makeup, drowning in sweat when the camera rolled; looking much like a sheepdog, I’d say. No one said workouts were glamorous!” Palin said of the photos on Facebook. She still insists on pretending the fight never happened.
All we want to know is if someone — anyone — captured this magical moment on film. Those of us who have been following Palin’s antics over the years are rather excited to see her completely lose it.