A few lessons in “If/Then” logic for the leaders of the GOTP.
- If you have to twist your districts around opponents to gerrymander your “representatives” into office, then they don’t “represent” anyone but you.
- If you have to suppress votes even after gerrymandering your way into incumbency, then you as a party don’t even represent the few who do live in those districts.
- If you have to set up fake websites to steal donations from your opponents, then nobody’s willing to pay to keep you in office. And, lastly, 4) If your propaganda arm has to keep screaming for attention by accusing the universe of “distraction” for not following your talking points, then you’re sliding very quickly into irrelevancy.
In this clip from the Daily Show, John Stewart tears what was left of Fox apart after Obama got through with it by attempting to examine the “spite-driven anger machine’s” seemingly endless “distraction loop.” After playing the relevant clips, Stewart reached the following conclusion — which, it must be said, sounds pretty plausible. In response to talking face Andrea Tantros’ utterly self-contradictory statement about Obama using the economy to distract from IRS-NSA-Benghaaazziiiiiii, Stewart said:
“WHAT THE F***!!!!! I thought you just said he was using the scandals to distract us from the ECONOMY, now he’s using the economy to distract us from the gah-GAH-DAMMIT!?!?! hold on…what’s going on here; I’m just going to get out my book of mathematics.
Holy S***! By the Transitive Properties of Distraction, we find ourselves dangerously close to being caught in an Einstein-Oppenheimer Distraction Loop, creating a black hole of infinite distraction from which we can never divert our attention long enough to — SQUIRREL! WHAT’S THAT?! — know what’s happening. Wait a minute…what is Fox trying to accomplish here?”
Cut to a clip of Obama, referring to Fox:
“They’ve allowed an endless parade of political posturing and and phony scandal to distract from growing our economy and strengthening the middle class.”
Stewart, as the Universe collapses: “Oh NOOO!, It’s begun!” Then, as the singularity re-stabilizes:
“Wait, hold on…unless of course Fox News is trying to distract us from noticing that, rather than being a news organization, it’s a spite-driven anger machine rooted in a fear that any change in the status quo will inevitably erode our nation’s power structure, leading to internment camper for ‘real Amurrikins’ powered by solar energy and…hard-shelled, gay tacos. Meh…it’s probably the black hole thing.”
OR, respectfully, John — MAYBE Fox is just following Teapublican talking points for ratings, while the Teapublicans themselves try to distract us from the fact that they care a lot less about immigration, marriage equality, healthcare and Christian schoolbooks than they do about getting the Koch Brothers’ oil pipeline built without anyone noticing that that was the primary agenda all along.
And so, the Einstein-Oppenheimer Distraction Loop continues becomes the E-O Distraction Mobius, and the black hole of Teapublican logic gets eaten by its own ass.
Watch Part 1:
Watch Part 2: