If there’s one thing that’s true about anything Idiot American, it’s that it takes a couple years to get to Canada. Reality TV, pop music, neo-conservatism — about the only thing Canada really ever beats us to is winter and advances in canned mustard technology. So, it might seem late in coming, but the psychosis that is the anti-vaxxer movement has officially spread at Canadian speed to a place with socialized healthcare.
In a report filed by the CBC — which is like ABC in 1997 — newscasters tell us that the anti-vaxxer movement is spreading through hockeyland at (ahem) epidemic rates. Startlingly, as of right now, the CBC reports that in some communities, a massive 40 percent of Canadian children under 7 years old aren’t up to date on their vaccinations. And not because the moose train hasn’t arrived — largely, it’s because Canadians are beginning to take their medical advice from Jenny McCarthy and witches. Err…homeopaths.
Just today we ran a story on the latest insanity from homeopathic circles: a woman from the UK who planned to heal the world’s oceans with magic syphilis water. That’s right. Syphilis-infected water is apparently a type of “natural” vaccine capable of curing everything from alcoholism to megalomania, bed-wetting to chronic pain (that starts at 4 p.m.) to something called “saddle nose.” Because it’s magic.
And it was from this very group of people that CBC gathered its latest intelligence on vaccination, via hidden cameras sneaked into a homeopath parenting “consultation” in Toronto. According to one witch doctor, speaking of vaccinations:
“Babies are getting too much stimulation of their immature immune systems.”
Another told a mother, quote:
“Measles is not really a dangerous disease.”
And a third advises that the risk of measles is past once a child makes it past a year old. A medical expert consulted by CBC’s reporter (who has Jennifer Aniston do that even Monica would envy) said that:
“Children die of measles. I can’t believe anyone would put themselves out there by saying something that’s so patently untrue.”
Another socio — homeo — path believes that confidence in something refutes any scientific evidence against it.
“The autistic kids I see…their parents are fairly confident that their children were vaccine damaged. Autism is really an epidemic at this point in time.”
Glad to hear it. Though we would point out that not long ago, people were equally confident autism was caused by demon possession. Pat Robertson probably still does. But nobody believes vaccines cause autism anymore, because the study linking the two turned out to be complete BS. The medical expert:
“That study has been completely debunked. But it planted the seed of doubt in peoples’ minds. And it’s hard to un-scare people”
Yes…particularly if those people have a diagnosed neurological condition called “Conservatism,” which we now know is a symptom of an over-reactive fear response.
Well…we know that. But, obviously, it will be a few years before that information gets to Canada. Especially this time of year, since winter is on its way to disprove global warming. And that always slows the moose trains down.