No, this is not from the Onion, before you ask–because you will! According to The Hill, Washington lobbyist Jack Burkman announced Monday that he is preparing to introduce legislation that will ban gay athletes from joining the NFL.
”We are losing our decency as a nation,” Burkman said in a statement. “Imagine your son being forced to shower with a gay man. That’s a horrifying prospect for every mom in the country. What in the world has this nation come to?” Burkman urged Congress to act on this important issue. He even says he has five House members and one Senator willing to co-sponsor the bill. He expects the number to rise to 36 and 5, respectively within three weeks.
“I felt that if the NFL doesn’t have any morals, and people like [Commissioner] Roger Goodell, who are just go-along-get-along guys, just want to appease advertisers, appease corporate America and all that stuff,” he said, “I figured, well, it is time for conservatives in Congress to step in and define morality for them.” You know, “small government,” and everything.
And why shouldn’t Congress listen to him? He’s the perfect figure to speak on morality. A few years ago, Burkman’s name reportedly appeared on the ‘D.C. Madam’s’ list of high-end database of phone records.
He’s powerful, too! Burkman commands a whopping 20-something Twitter followers and his four-person lobbying firm made a massive $2m in the first three quarters of 2013.
Since his own insignificant P.R. firm released the information, and given his irrelevance, this whole thing smacks of a publicity stunt.
Burkman has not released any information on how the ban would be enforced, but one thing’s for sure: he sure is craving attention! So, for Jack Burkman’s sake, Let’s give him his thirty second of fame so he will shut up and slink into irrelevance once again. Just make it the worst 30 seconds of his life–even worse than that whole ‘hooker’ thing.