With America seemingly too engrossed in a Walking Dead marathon to care who gets elected, the party that stumbled into Congress on the zombie vote is already beginning to cannibalize itself. Yes, it seems on Capitol Hill, we’ve got our own real-life walking dead in the form of the neo-conservative movement, and the Republican Party that spawned it. But fear not, for Mitch McConnell, chainsaw-arm at the ready, says to those who put him in power “Come get some. Hail to the King.”
Yes, the group of people establishment Republicans like McConnell call (somehow without the vaguest whiff of irony) “for-profit Republicans” aren’t getting much love from the leadership now that they’ve taken the Congressional majority. Of course, that much was pretty evident more than a year ago, when Republicans made it clear that while they were willing to use the Tea Party base to get in power, they had no intention of honoring the base’s demands when they got there.
Practically from the moment they took power, Republican leadership began looking at everything the Tea Party wanted and saying “Nahh…we’re not going to do that.”
Take for instance McConnell himself, who spent almost his entire re-election campaign running against the scourge of Obamacare, promising to move Heaven and Earth to repeal it if only the Tea Party would put him in power. And then, once taking power, he immediately recanted, saying first that they would work with democrats (GASP!) and that there wasn’t a chance in Hell they were going to repeal Obamacare.
Of course, he and Boehner insist that repealing the law and replacing it with…dueling pistols, probably…remains a “goal,” they’ve stated in no uncertain terms that they’re well short of the 67 percent majority needed to overcome a presidential veto. So, on with the business of building that oil pipeline!
Even a good number of congressmen like Tea Party darling Ron Johnson, who were elected in 2010 on the strength of the neo-conservative uprising, are starting to get with the Corporate Establishment program:
“I understand the frustrations of the conservative base; I am one of them. I also recognize reality. We’re not going to pass the entire conservative agenda tomorrow. We can certainly lay it out, [but] let’s start with the things we can pass. Doesn’t that make more sense?”
And you can bet, Conservatives, already disgusted with the people they voted for, aren’t taking the betrayal lightly.
It’s true that establishment Republicans have largely marginalized Tea Party types like Ted “Army of One” Cruz from the process; already, he’s (appropriately enough) starting to sound like that one racist Korean War vet who’s still screaming to all who pass by about those damn commies up North. Cruz:
“After winning a historic majority,” [via zombie vote] “it is incumbent on us to honor promises and do everything humanly possible to stop Obamacare.”
But we already know the dangers of underestimating this particular group of rabid conservative psychopaths. This is the same group that split the party in two during the last shutdown, and they’re already making plans for another one if Barry Soetoro doesn’t admit to being a Muslim Kenyan Communist Nazi and immediately resign from office. And the Republican leadership’s failure to deliver on its promises will prove disastrous…or so says conservative activist and major fundraiser Richard Viguerie:
“That would cause a civil war inside the Republican Party. There’s almost zero trust between the base and the Republican leaders.”
And coming from a friend of Larry “KK” Klayman who in 1977 scammed a Children’s Relief Fund for two-thirds of its $1.5 million in donations…”zero trust” is saying something.
But Rand Paul — the most trusted pseudointellectual on the conservative right — agrees. While Establishment Republicans are quickly writing off the Tea Party base as irrelevant, Paul and other Tea Party members maintain that the uber-right is still a powerful voting bloc in the Republican Party. Evidence, the exit polls from this year’s Zombie Election. Doug Stafford, senior adviser to Rand Paul:
“They showed up. You can’t look at the turnout models, the polling pre-election and the results, and not think that conservatives showed up for this. They did.”
Yes, there be an uprising in the wings of the Republican Party; McConnell and his friends, fresh in power, may have already buried the conservatives they used to get elected. But if there’s one thing we know about these people, it’s never to believe that they can’t rise from the grave, bony fingers and rotting flesh grasping at the air from grassy turf. Beware, Establishment Republicans…you may have survived Halloween night, but an unholy evil sweeps across your land.
Yeah…so what else is new?