Given Sarah Palin’s constant protestations about decaying ‘family values’ in America, it’s difficult not to have a bit of a chuckle when one observes her own family’s values, which include drunkenly brawling at a birthday party. Ever since the police reports, photos, and audio were released detailing the events at Wasil-Mania I, it has been nothing but constant laughs for us here at AATTP.
This audio begins with Track refusing to give officers his shirt because the person requesting it has a moustache. “Track, stop!” Sarah Palin can be heard admonishing him. “Let’s get them on our side, ok? Track, you just have to be rational.”
When he finally calms down enough to talk to police, Track explains,”Alright this is my old man. It’s his birthday, okay? So we’re at this party in Wasilla. Dude, surprise him with a new truck, new trailer, new wrap on the trailer. Everything was f*cking kosher.”
He explains that “these guys” were “talking sh*t” to his sisters, and that “we were getting drunk, whatever…We’re like ‘no, f*ck off.'” He claimed that people were hitting on his sisters and “grabbing their *ss.”
Todd Palin interjected, explaining that a “father and son team came down” and “cold-cocked” their friend Steve, who, according to Track, “is like a little p*ssy. He’s not gonna fight nobody.” Track Palin says that he threatened the father of the person who hit poor Steve. The man, according to Track, suggested they fight, leading to the Palin son taking his shirt off. He claimed his eye was injured when he “got cold-cocked from behind,” which is physically impossible — Well, unless he has eyes in the back of his head, that is.
Track continued, explaining that “they” hit him and his buddy, “who is basically a gay guy, but he’s not.”
Todd Palin explained that the entire series of events unfolded when “they,” with no motive, randomly attacked their gay-but-not-gay friend and dropped him, as Track added, “like a fish.”
“You can’t just walk away from that,” Todd Palin said.
Track then changed his story about when he was “attacked,” perhaps realizing that a punch to the back of the head would not cause an eye injury, claiming that he was hit from the side, instead. “I don’t care, I’ll fight whoever,” Track said of his decision to engage the “old man,” adding, “F*ck off. I’ll fight you.”
“I was running after Steve, and they hit me in the eye,” Track said. “I was like ‘Really? You f*cking p*ssies.”
When police asked Track for his name, he attempted to spell it…badly.
“T-R — Tango, Romeo Alpha Charlie Kilo.” Great, He spelled his first name correctly. Lets see how he does with his last name. “Papa Alpha Lima India Mike Oscar. You know what that means,” he asked.
“Palimo?” asked the officer as Track continued to fumble over the spelling of his own name.
“I’m not trying to be a d*ck, man. I’m sorry. I’ve just seen a lot of shows on cops,” Track said.
As the audio rolls, Willow Palin can be heard cursing up a storm in the background.
Later in the tape, a witness named Brian and his wife Avery explained their version of events. As they were in the garage, they did not see what transpired, but Brian told police that Korey Klingenmeyer’s wife informed them of the fight. He told police that numerous people informed them that Track Palin started a fight with one of the McKennas’ employees and lost badly.
As Brian was talking, Track repeatedly interjected, accusing them of lying.
He explained that Bristol said she was going to “beat that b*tch up,” but Klingenmeyer attempted to stop her from escalating the violence caused by the Palins already.
Brian was told by Klingenmeyer that Bristol said, “I’ll punch you, motherf*cker,” to which he responded, “Okay, go ahead.”
After she punched him once, Klingenmeyer said, “Well, that wasn’t good enough. Would you like to try the other side?” She then hit him a few more times. He indicated that a video of Palin’s attack on Klingenmeyer exists — one that we’re sure the world would like to see.
Brian says he was told that Todd Palin, with whom he is friends, stood and watched as his daughter attacked the party host. Klingenmeyer eventually “took her, and sat her on her *ss,” telling the Palin daughter to leave.
Listen to the full audio, below: