If there’s one thing that extreme right-wingers like Michele Bachmann’s insane husband love, it’s Jesus’ power to deliver people from the sin of gayness. At the Church of God in Christ (COGIC), a 22-year-old man was delivered from the “sin” of homosexuality by Bishop Brandon Porter.
“Whatever it is you need to do, He just told you it is done right now. What did you come down here for? Tell me,” Porter says to the man.
“I came to be delivered more,” the man replied.
“Do you believe that the lord tonight has set you free?” Porter asked, to which the man replied, “Yes, sir.”
At Porter’s instruction, the man twirled on his heels and proudly proclaimed, “I’m not gay no more!”
After a pause for applause, the man was not done celebrating his new love of vaginas.
“I am delivered! I don’t like mens no more! I said I like womens! Womens, womens, womens, women. I said women! I am not gay! I will not date a mens! I will not carry a purse! I will not put on makeup! I will love a womens!” the man continued.
After this nice gentleman was “cured” of his gayness by God’s magic no-gay ray of holiness, the dancing began. So much dancing. The entire congregation, at the risk of being labeled “nonbelievers” joined the man in a jubilant celebration of this glorious redemption from Satan’s dark grasp (You can’t make this sh*t up).
Porter then instructed the now-“saved” gentleman to run down the aisle and tell the cameras at the other end that he has a new life in front of him. Then, he gave him $100.
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