As we all know, that Muslim Kenyan Socialist Communist Atheist Fascist Un-American TRAITOR who puts his feet on Ronald Reagan’s desk has a lot to answer for! From Benghazi, to the Umbrella Scandal, to Benghazi, to Solyndra, to Benghazi, to World War II, to Benghazi, to Watergate, to Benghazi–the list goes on!
Obama has been socializing gay medicine for welfare queens in Detroit for too long! His IRS targeting of FOX News reporters has caused too many Obamacare cancellation victims. And all this to advance agenda 21 and bring about white slavery!
We’ve seen some pretty insane claims about President Obama, so we did what we do best: we’ve looked all over and rounded up what we feel are the six most batshit insane things for which President Obama has been blamed!
It’s Obama’s Fault This Girl Had to Have Her Wisdom Teeth Removed…Gas Prices, Too!
President Obama is killing education! The proof? One needs only observe his war on wisdom teeth.
Remember that YouTube video of that kid who was still doped up on the drive home from the dentist? Well, this is kind of like that–but with random Obama blame worthy of the Tea Partiest of Tea Partiers! She asks her mother how much gas is, and then goes on to blame President Obama for gas prices–and the fact that she just got her wisdom teeth removed! Given that she is still doped up from her dentist visit and incredibly irrational, we would put her on par with the paranoid rantings of insane embezzler James Neighbors of Overpasses for Obama’s Impeachment infamy.
Obama Made This Burger Joint Pay More for Buns!
Meers, the home of the “Best Burger in Oklahoma,” has a bone to pick with the President. Meers claims it is dealing with a bun crisis–and none other than President Obama is to blame! This message was placed at every single table.
That’s right, folks! The restaurant, which features Freedom Fries on its menu, without citing any actual evidence of this moronic claim, blames a combination of labor unions and Obamacare for their loss of gigantic buns! In fact, President Obama forced them to use an overpriced local supplier instead of a large national one…and did the unthinkable–He held a gun to their heads and compelled them to fork over $3000 for a bun slicer!
This delusional rant has everything we have come to expect from right wing outrage– including a plethora of spelling errors, and a Margaret Thatcher quote/Socialism reference double whammy!
It’s Obama’s Fault That This Guy is a Lousy Tipper
A customer at Cupola in the Westfield San Fransisco Centre, upset over California’s Proposition 30, which raised the state sales tax from 7.2% to 7.5% and created new tax brackets for people earning more than $250,000 per year.
Of course, that evil Obama was dabbling in state-level affairs in California! This obviously affluent individual was so financially strapped as a result of a tiny increase in sales tax and slightly higher taxes, that he just could not afford a decent tip!
It’s OK, though–he’s not an @$$hole or anything! He even left a nifty little printed card to explain! If he can’t afford more than a $3 tip, how can he afford to print up these cards, you ask? Don’t you worry about that! Socialism! BENGHAZI!
Obama Controlled the Weather to Win Re-election
According to right wing nutjobs far and wide, Obama was afraid he was going to lose his re-election campaign. Desperate, afraid, Obama did what any evil genius would do: he used his secret research facility to control the weather to ensure his continued dominance!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!
President Obama took advantage of the New World Order HAARP (High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) facility in Alaska to create Hurricane Sandy, using the chaos to ensure a 2012 defeat of Mitt Romney. What a scoundrel!
Obama Caused Andrew Breitbart to Die of Natural Causes
Andrew Breitbart was a true Patriot. Keep in mind, we are using the Tea Party definition of “Patriot” here. Breitbart was a bigoted liar and alcoholic with a history of cocaine problems. He died of a heart attack days after he baselessly claimed that he had some damning video of President Obama.
Before Breitbart’s body was cold, the Twitterverse exploded with claims that President Obama had Breitbart eliminated to save himself from the DAMNING revelations. Sure, Breitbart died of natural causes…if you believe the LAMEstream media and the LA County Coroner…SURE, he had a history of cardiac problems that were only exacerbated by his cocaine use, drinking, and paranoia…but we all know it was Obama.
Man Caught Licking Children’s Feet Says Obama is Setting Him Up
49 year old Anthony Parri was spotted at Penfield Library in Rochester, New York removing a six year old girl’s shoe, fondling her foot, and pressing it to his nose and mouth. He was also mentioned in a second incident by a concerned parent who was unaware of what had happened until the drive home.
Police were called, and Parri was arrested outside the library.
As he was being escorted off by police, Parri claimed that this was a “federal issue,” and that he was “being set up by the President, Barack Obama, and city and federal governments.” He claims his “family was killed here…This is a set up…they had women following me in Wegmans.”
Investigators initially suspected that Parri was connected to at least five other incidents, all of which involved the smelling, licking, and fondling of the feet of girls between ages five and ten….but it seems those were a different foot-loving pedophile. How many of these sick f**ks are there?
See it for yourself: