We propose: Ted Nugent is the Fuhrer, the commander of a Nazi hate group. A group at present responsible for the murders at least a dozen Jews in a single town, along with scores of blacks and homosexuals. It should have been obvious all this time; the long absences, the hate speech, the popularity among skinheads and racists nationwide. The talk radio program. But finally, thanks to a statement made by Ted himself, we have the last piece of the puzzle that proves that this Damned Yankee has been leading a double life…as a damned Nazi.
Let’s start with what we already know for certain. Ted’s been dipping back ito the spotlight on and off over the last few years — most recently, by comparing Ferguson protesters to animals, and black people to dogs who should be profiled as threats, the same way certain “dangerous” canines are. (Fun Fact: Police have killed more Americans in the last three weeks than pit bulls have in 45 years — a roughly 700-to-1 kill ratio. Yep.)
But, despite the fact that Ted has yet to suggest police be made illegal in city limits, he does have an opinion on public safety regarding people who wear a different badge. Specifically, the “badge of black (dis)honor.” He posted this on Facebook:
That same day, he also posted this on Twitter:
Now, none of this proves, in itself, that Ted is a Nazi Fuhrer. Or even a racist. Though it must be observed that of the many times he has compared people to animals (including his “subhuman mongrel” remark about Obama)…of the many times he has, he’s never once said it referring to white people, or groups consisting primarily of white people. So, it’s not that blacks are subhuman mongrel dogs…it’s just that white people aren’t. So, clearly not racist.
But we do believe that he IS the leader of a leader of a Neo-Nazi hate group responsible for dozens of murders. And we think we can prove it. So, we’re going to go a little Alex Jones here, and connect a few dots.
Starting with that odd little throwaway phrase in Ted’s Facebook post: “Black Klansmen.”
Believe it or not, that phrase didn’t just come from the dilapadated sandlot that is Ted’s Mind. There really is a real group called the “Black Klan,” and it exists in the real world.
Survivalist Ted’s been planning for the apocalypse for years, and he’s a cultural fan of the whole “Zombie Apocalypse” scenario. He threw a zombie apocalypse party, and has warned us before of the pending invasion of Muslim “Allahpuke Zombies.” In fact, a lot of Ted’s horror-bation fantasies seem to involve cities taken over by hordes of subhuman monsters. And he’s big into fantasies regarding himself. So, there’s a pretty good chance Ted’s familiar with an online MMORPG called “Urban Dead.”
Kind of like “World of Warcraft” and “Survivor” meet “The Walking Dead,” Urban Dead allows people to form groups, banding together to both fight off zombies, and other groups of survivalists coming for their stuff.
It’s a great game, and Ted’s likely a fan. It has a powerful cult followingBut what does this have to do with Nazis? Wait for it…
Turns out there really is a group colloquially called the “Black Klansmen,” in Urban Dead. Their full name is the “Gay-Black-Jewish Klansmen,” or the “Black Klan” for short. The GBJK is noted in the game for wearing purple Klan robes, just as they are in this live-action group picture.
A bit creepy. But understandable. Because this survival group is actually a counter-group, a rival formed to protect minority members in-game from another group. A hate group that boasts of killing legions of Jews, blacks and homos in the post-apocalyptic city of Malton. This group, Combat 18 got its name from the first and eighth letters of the alphabet: “A” and “H.” Three guesses what that stands for. Nevermind, you don’t need them. It’s Hitler. Adolph Hitler. And C18’s biggest and most hated rival at the moment? The Black Klan.
Indeed, C18 is Urban Dead’s very own (and very well-known) neo-nazi white supremacist group, founded by Der Fuhrer Cornholio. Of course, we know Cornholio as the name of anarchist Beavis’ prophet of doom on Beavis & Butthead. A show which was very popular in the 1990s, and regularly played music videos. Videos like Ted Nugent’s Heads Will Roll, featured in 1996, episode 157. And Ted has always been a fan of the show, to which his own show Gun Country, has since been compared.
So, now…let’s connect the dots with a series of logical statements, and consider the evidence.
Given that Ted:
- Isn’t as popular or powerful as he’d like to be
- Has fantastical notions of himself
- Has the social skills of a rabid coyote
- Exists in a perpetual fantasy land
- and lives in a basement command center
He is very likely a fan of online role-playing games. Given that he
- Is a fan of online role-playing games
- Fantasizes about the apocalypse
- Has an obsession “hordes” and “plagues” of subhumans in urban areas
- Loves the idea of a zombie apocalypse
- and fantasizes about gunning down “hordes” in urban areas
He very likely plays Urban Dead. Given that he
- Plays Urban Dead
- That the game features a group he specifically named
- That said group is the hated rival of another
- That the rival group also considers blacks “subhuman animals”
- and that said group also echos many other sentiments made by Ted
It is very likely that Ted is a member of that group, aka Combat 18. Given that Ted is
- A member of Combat 18
- Was hugely popular in the 1990s
- Was featured on and is a fan of Beavis and Butthead
- That Combat 18’s leader is named for a character on B&B, who was also hugely popular in the 90s
- That said character is a “prophet of doom”
- and that Ted considers himself (and is considered by many of his followers) as a “prophet of doom”
And SO…therefore…given all of the evidence presented, following a solid chain of reason, we arrive at one, and only one, inevitable conclusion:
Ted Nugent IS Cornholio, the Fuhrer Supreme of Combat 18, a Neo-Nazi coalition responsible for scores of murders and hate crimes in Malton.
How did we not SEE this before?
Take that TP for your bunghole, Ted! You’ve been exposed, you Nazi sonofaB*TCH!