Every single time we think Jerad and Amanda Miller, the Cliven Bundy-loving Tea Partiers who viciously gunned down two police officers and a “good guy with a gun,” couldn’t be any more deranged, we learn something new about them — and this time is no different.
According to Clark County Sheriff Doug Gillespie, the government-hating duo were wearing diapers while they committed their crime. They were also carrying four handguns, a shotgun, water, food, and bullets (including armor piercing).
The Millers began their adventure into firing the first shots of the Revolution that is discussed heavily at Bundy Ranch inside a Las Vegas Cici’s Pizza. The pair fatally shot two Las Vegas police officers before draping the Gadsden flag over their bodies, then pinned a note to one of the fallen men with a swastika pin–one that indicated that their attack is the beginning of the revolution.
After stripping the officers of their weapons and ammunition, the diaper-wearing revolutionary soldiers headed over to Walmart, where a Good Guy With a Gun™ attempted to exercise the magical power to stop all criminals that the NRA told him he had. Unfortunately, the power of the GGWAG was overestimated in NRA rhetoric, and another life was lost.
Jerad Miller was finally shot by SWAT officers after a 15-minute exchange of gunfire in the back of the store, where the couple smashed a display case in order to obtain more ammo — which, of course, is conveniently sold at Walmart alongside a number of deadly weapons.
Amanda Miller took her own life.
We’re now curious if the diapers were uniform Revolution™ fetish wear, or if they simply anticipated the inevitable release of their bowels after they were finally taken down by police. We’ll never know, we’re afraid, but we’re going to err on the side of autonepiophilia with this one.