Many of us suppress guilty summertime memories of leaving a half-eaten ice cream sandwich somewhere, later finding it melted and crawling with ants, getting scolded by the folks, and having to clean up that nasty mess. Apparently, times have changed.
WCPO reports a Cincinatti, Ohio mom found her son’s half-eaten ice cream sandwich lying on the patio table early one hot summer morning. To her astonishment, the thing had barely melted even though it had been left out for at least 12 hours and the temperature had already reached 80 degrees.
Unsurprisingly, this creepy treat came from a box of “Great Value” ice cream sandwiches from Walmart.
News reporter John Matarese and his crew came out to investigate, and Christie Watson told Matarese:
“I noticed that my son had left his ice cream sandwich outside, and I was wondering ‘why is there still ice cream in there? I thought that’s quite weird. So I looked at the box, and it doesn’t say artificial ice cream. It says ice cream.”
Is she sure it didn’t say “ice cream,” in ironic quotes? We can’t tell from the video footage.
Was this non-melting ice cream sandwich some bizarre fluke? Nope. A curious Watson left a second ice cream bar out overnight, and encountered the same results the following morning.
“Monday I came out and looked at it, and there was still ice cream there. So I thought to myself: what am I feeding to my children?”
Matarese and his crew then performed a second experiment, leaving a Walmart “Great value” ice cream sandwich, a Klondike bar, and a cup of Häagen-Dazs ice cream out in the hot sun for 30 minutes. The Häagen-Dazs melted into a puddle, the Klondike bar got a little squishy, and the scary Walmart “Great Value” ice cream sandwich barely melted at all.
Why Walmart’s “ice cream” sandwiches won’t melt.
Why did this experiment show such dramatically different results? Gee, maybe it has something to do with the ingredients.
The Häagen-Dazs ice cream contains nothing but cream, milk, sugar, and eggs, and vanilla. The Klondike bars and Walmart Great Value ice cream sandwiches had a lot more ingredients with a lot more syllables in them.
When WCPO contacted Walmart, they refused to “officially” comment, but “sources close to the company” explained:
“ice cream melts based on how much buttermilk, butterfat, and cream are in it. Walmart’s sandwiches contain less, so they are more affordable. But they are healthy and meet all FDA guidelines.”
So… um … in other words, Walmart’s ice cream doesn’t melt because it doesn’t contain enough of the ingredients ice cream’s supposed to be made of. But that’s okay, because all these chemicals are perfectly safe and make Walmart’s “ice cream” sandwiches way cheaper.
Wow, didn’t the fast food chains and supermarkets say something similar about “pink slime” they put in “hamburger” meat — which is also supposedly “healthy” and FDA-compliant? Yuck.
Matarese takes great care to point out that for the $3.00 you’d pay for that dinky cup of Häagen-Dazs, you can get a dozen of those ice cream sandwiches from Walmart. And, “again, there’s nothing unhealthy about those sandwiches.”
Yet a skeptical Watson insists that she misses the kind of old-fashioned ice cream that melts.
Here’s the video with the news report from WCPO – 9 On Your Side.
h/t and screen grab/photo: WCPO.