You prayed, and God answered: today, the former half-term governor of Alaska and vice presidential nominee of the 2008 GOP Dog and Pony Show, Sarah Palin, indicated during an ABC report that she “might run for president.”
I’m positively giddy with this recent announce, and can only hope that Mrs. Irrelevant comes through with a legitimate announcement. My ultimately conclusion, however, is that she’s running out of money and her television network isn’t turning the profits she hoped for.
While at a soup kitchen on Thursday, Palin told the reporter that, “Yeah, I mean, of course, when you have a servant’s heart, when you know that there is opportunity to do all you can to put yourself forward in the name of offering service, anybody would be interested.”
When you have a servant’s heart, anything is possible. Especially when your masters are corporations, as Palin well knows.
According to ABC, Palin was at a Salvation Army in Las Vegas serving “wild boar chili to the homeless” when she discussed her presidential ambitions. She was in Vegas for an annual Shooting, Hunting, and Outdoor Trade Show. When pressed on whether or not she wanted to run in 2016, Palin said that she wanted to see a female president and that she would be “happy to drive that competition:”
We definitely had enough of seeing that — America has had enough of seeing that — sign on the Oval Office door saying, ‘No Girls Allowed.’ I know that . . . It doesn’t necessarily have to be me, though, but no, America is definitely ready for real change.
That competition in the GOP … will surface that candidate who can take on Hillary, be ready for Hillary and show the nation what it is going to take to get the country back on the right track. Because we can’t afford status quo, because status quo lately has been Latin for, ‘We are getting screwed,’ and status quo has got to go.
She’s getting better at making these sort of “off-the-cuff” populist slogans. It only took her what, almost 8 years, to figure out how this game works?
Part of me thinks that Palin’s recent injections into the media — for instance, her online kerfluffle with PETA — have been a clumsy attempt to build her brand. After all, everyone watches the train wreck, even if it’s through their fingers. This is the sort of backwards, succès de scandale/”there’s no such thing as bad publicity” PR campaign I could see her running.
Palin is scheduled to deliver a heaping helping of word salad to the Iowa Freedumb Summit, an annual conservative event hosted by everyone’s favorite clueless bigot, Rep. Steven King. Palin isn’t the only possible contender staking out primary real estate at the Summit, though; the clown car delivering the Who’s Who of Failed Governors and Company will be carrying such esteemed individuals as Chris Christie, Scott Walker, and Rick Perry, along with Senator Ted Cruz, former Senator Rick Santorum, and the 2016 answer to Herman Cain, Dr. Ben Carson.
We all know that 2015 is going to be a disaster, but 2016 is shaping up to be a hilarious disaster.