What do you get when you take a bunch of insanely stupid white people, hand them loaded weapons, and turn them loose in a predominantly African-American neighborhood? Well, it seems we’ll find out on August 16 at the Cracker Crawl or whatever Open Carry Texas is choosing to call this latest foray into dumbf*ckery.
“Somebody’s got to stand up and sit at the front of the bus,” organizer C.J. Grisham said of the planned march through the 5th Ward–because a bunch of ignorant crackers fighting for their “right” to wave around their penile extensions is totally like the civil rights battle.
It’s cool, though, this group of insane ammosexuals understands civil rights and racism. It’s like that time that they protested an African-American Congresswoman with signs that read “Gun Control = Slavery Sheila Jackson Lee Supports Slavery”–and by munching on some fried chicken outside her office because they’re not racist at all.
This Stupid White Man March was originally to kick off on Juneteenth, but was rescheduled due to “scheduling conflicts” (Grisham spoke at a John Birch Society meeting) and strategy. It’s cool, though. They found a token black guy to join them in order to attempt to legitimize their effort.
The open carriers may feel that the inclusion of an African-American will somehow magically make them welcome with their heavy weaponry in the 5th Ward, but residents have other thoughts. On Wednesday, people from the 5th Ward gathered to discuss the group’s plans.
On one side sat the open carriers, who somehow don’t get that a bunch of armed, racist white people marching through an African American neighborhood may be a bit unsettling. On the other, residents who simply do not want them there.
“You are not welcome here today or Saturday,” shouted one resident.
“We think that an armed society is a polite society,” Grisham explained. “We want to encourage citizens in the Fifth Ward to take back their community from the criminal element.” You know, because until the whitebread ammosexuals step in, black people who own guns are all criminals.
No matter what open carriers say, residents simply do not trust a mob of white men running rampant in their neighborhood with guns for some reason.
“We have a bad history with white men who would come into the 5th ward with guns in the name of a lynch mob,” said activist Quanell X.
“All they’re trying to do is provoke these young people,” said local civic club Kathy Daniels. “We’re trying to settle this. We don’t want them here period.”
Whether they are wanted there or not, the open carry gun fetishists plan their public blasturbation session, anyway. “If people tell you not to exercise a right, do you not exercise that right,” asked Grisham. He said that the group may alter some of their tactics, but they will be there on Saturday–locked and loaded.