Think about all the wonderful uses for plastic bags: if you’re bagging things like pop and milk, you have use two because one will invariably tear. They’re good for collecting on the side of the interstate, and getting tangled in dead branches with the rest of the garbage that Americans have no problem throwing out their car window.
They’re really good for getting wrapped up around animals and posing a health hazard to them and children. They’re plastic, so they don’t break down or degrade like paper does. So at the end of the day, the only thing that could possibly be less useless than a plastic bag is Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, who for some reason feels the need to stick up for them.
In a five-page attorney general’s opinion published Friday, Abbott — currently running for governor of America’s America — called municipal bans on single-use plastic bans illegal. He said that a state law exists to prohibit local governments from restricting or charging an extra fee for “the use of a container or package in a manner not authorized by state law.”
While he acknowledged that the law doesn’t define a single-use plastic bag as a “container or package,” he contends that a bag fits the dictionary definition of a container or package.
Dallas Republican, State Representative Dan Flynn, sought the opinion after nine cities enacted ordinances banning the useless things. The non-binding opinion doesn’t reflect anything other than Abbott’s own inanity and desire to micro-manage.
Our infrastructure is falling apart. People are at risk of loosing healthcare. Wages have stagnated since the 1970s. There’s Christian terrorists and Sovereign Citizen whackjobs that threaten our country from within everyday. The number of mass shootings in this country is absurdly high.
And this is what the Attorney General of Texas focuses his time on? Plastic bags?
The larger issue here is that he’s all for using the power of the state to strip municipal governments of their authority, which Republicans have proven that they’re not adverse to doing before. But the banality, the surrealism, it just floors me; sometimes, watching the American right wing is like watching the Theater of the Absurd. And no matter how much sense you try to make of it, it really just boils down to a bunch of adult men fighting over one thinking cap while waiting for something to happen in a two-act play that never seems to end.