Newport News, Virginia — On November 21st, police arrested a certain 27-year old Republican on some fairly serious charges. Surprisingly, none related to criminal possession of neck beard.
No, Kyle P. Adams wasn’t arrested for impersonating an alpaca with mange, but rather for impersonating another, slightly more local type of wildlife: A Virginia police officer.
At about 7:30 p.m. on November 21st, police responded to an unusual call at the 7900 block of Shore Drive. The couple who called, a 33-year-old man and 30-year-old woman, told police that they had just been stopped an searched by a rather suspicious “police officer.”
The “officer” pulled them over with his dark-colored SUV; presumably with a set of dashboard red and blues. He got out of his SUV and went up to the couple, identifying himself as a police officer. He reportedly had a gun on him, though there’s no mention of whether or not he was wearing a uniform of some kind.
He detained the couple on the side of the road, and searched them. There’s no word yet of exactly why he was searching them, or what he was searching for. He hasn’t since been charged with any kind of sexual assault, so it’s probably safe to assume it wasn’t to “frisk” the female passenger. It may also be safe to assume that he had something far worse in mind when he stopped them, and backed out at the last moment.
But whatever his rationale for the stop and search, Adams climbed into his vehicle, and simply drove off without saying a word.
The couple called the police, and gave them a description of Adams and his SUV. He was arrested very shortly thereafter, when another woman placed an emergency medical call regarding violent, uncontrollable projectile vomiting. She had apparently glimpsed Adams’ neck beard at a stop light.
Adams was charged with two counts a piece of abduction (four total), impersonating a police officer, and the use of a firearm in the commission of a felony.
And this isn’t his first run-in with the law of late.
Until fairly recently, Adams was the chairman of the Hampton Republican Party. Before that, he was a top-ranking aide to Republican City Councilman Chris Stuart. Stuart was also the president of a security company called Top Guard; from 2011 to 2012, Adams embezzled almost $10,000 from his boss’ company, and he was arrested and found guilty. He never served a day in jail. The judge gave him a three-year suspended sentence — which is about 300 years less than the same judge wound give anyone else for stealing the same money from a cash register.
Since being convicted as a thief, Adams has applied his political money laundering skills to a slightly more applicable profession: professional lobbyist.
But, when times were good, Adams made some pretty good friends in the upper echelons of the Republican party. For instance, here he is (pre-neckbeard) posing with none other than Mitt Romney:
Lord…maybe the alpaca look wasn’t such a bad call after all.
Adams is currently sitting in jail in Newport News, Virginia. No word on his exact bail, but it’s certain to be in the triple digits. The use of a firearm in the commission of a felony charge alone carries a minimum mandatory three to five years in state prison, to be served on top of time for any other charges. With the four class two felonies for abduction (presumably with intent to extort or rob) and the class 1 misdemeanor for impersonating a police officer (yeah), Adams could easily be looking at 25 years in prison. If the judge runs his abduction charges concurrently; if not, he could face 80 YEARS OR MORE.
Considering that, piece of advice for Mr. Adams:
Consider losing that neck beard before lobbying the Aryan Brotherhood for protection. You’ll find dealing with them much like any other conservative group, though they do prefer new associates be clean shaven before paying membership dues.