In the 4th century B.C., Lao Tzu, Plato, Aristotle, Eudoxis and Euclid created the foundations of modern philosophy and geometry. A few centuries later, DaVinci defined the Renaissance, and then Lincoln freed the slaves. History has seen its share of truly great moments — moments that define who and what we are as a species, and illustrate vividly the best that we can be.
This one beats them all.
On October 3rd, Gawker published the story of a band called Get Shot!, which bills itself as “the sleaziest punk band in the world.” Get Shot! certainly gained some cred to the title by opening its own adult website; however, they multiplied that cred by 666 when they
FILMED A PORNO ON THE LAWN OF WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH.
The two-minute film, shot in the very shadow of a sign that reads “F*G MARRIAGE DOOMS NATIONS,” depicts the appropriately named Laura Lush pleasuring herself on a gaily patterned blanket. And why would Miss Lush perform such an act? According to a press release from the band’s Facebook page:
“The Phelps family and Westboro Baptist Church are ridiculous and do nothing except spread hate and cause controversy. As a bisexual woman and the bass player of a ridiculous punk band, I wanted to spread my legs and cause controversy.”
Get Shot! doesn’t mind the cops; undercovers regularly show up to investigate reports of drug use and lewd acts occurring on stage. But the film was limited to two minutes because according to front-man J.P. Hunter:
“There was a lot of traffic and we saw a few cops at a coffee shop a few blocks away. We barely had enough gas money and cocaine to make it to Denver for our next concert. Since we can’t afford bail, we had to cut it a little short before the cops got called. If someone will bail us out, we will bring a group of girls and a whole camera crew when we come back in a few months.”
So…sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Check, check and mother****ing CHECK.
But, wait…we’re missing something here. Something to do with Ozzy. Oh, yes…BLASPHEMY.
The New York based Satanic Temple beat Get Shot! to the black chalice of blasphemy when earlier this year they held what they call a “Pink Mass” over a certain gravesite. The idea?
To POSTHUMOUSLY TURN FRED PHELPS’ MOTHER GAY!!
The Pink Mass, as you can see, involves two lesbians and two gay men doing gay stuff over the now homosexual corpse’s eternal resting place. After completing the ceremony, the Satanic Temple declared:
“Upon completion of the Pink Mass ceremony, Catherine Johnston is now gay in the afterlife.”
Lucien Greaves, leader of the Satanic Temple, had this to say:
“We believe that Fred Phelps is obligated to believe that his mother is now gay in the afterlife,” he said. “Further, if beliefs are inviolable rights, nobody has the right to challenge our right to believe that Fred Phelps believes that his mother is now gay.”
He told The Gauntlet
“The idea for the Pink Mass ceremony and website came during the aftermath of the tragic Boston Marathon bombings, during which time the WBC were threatening to protest the funerals of the bombing victims. Members of The Satanic Temple were in Boston, waiting for them, but they failed to show. Later, the WBC issued a statement that they had been present ‘in spirit’. We decided that a same-sex couple celebrating ceremony at the grave-site of Fred Phelps’s mother was an appropriate way to meet the Westboro Baptists, ‘in spirit’, but this time on our terms.”
The discovery of penicillin. Alfred Nobel. The theory of relativity and every album the Beatles ever created. History is full of moments and people who just make the world a better place. Thanks to rock and roll, Get Shot! and the demonic forces of the Pink Mass, we have a new standard of greatness for the 21st century.
And with that, we part ways, with humanity having declared a victory in the name of sex, drugs and rock and roll.
PSYCH! You didn’t really think we’d leave you without a link, did you? While the Lord of Blog won’t let us post a link directly to any adult content, we can give you a link to the Get Shot! page and tell you to follow you conscience.
Tell your conscience to follow “ENTER” (if you’re 18), then “CLICK HERE TO SEE IT NOW!!!!” and then close the pop-up window.