Those of us who grew up back in the 1980s remember well talking with our parents solemnly about the threat of nuclear annihilation.
Of course, we also spent a great deal of time discussing Iran-Contra, the arming of the Taliban in Afghanistan and why it was a good idea to train sectarian extremists in the use of U.S. Military hardware and tactics on order to fight a proxy war with the Soviet Union. Every night, that’s all we talked about.
Actually…no. Wait a minute. No, we didn’t. We were too busy watching Thundercats, collecting Transformers and seeing who could spin the fastest on the tire swing without throwing up. OK, that’s right…childhood.
Indoctrination of the young, an intrinsic hatred of the state of innocence, is one of the hallmarks of any extremist group.
That’s true of ISIS, every bit as much as it is America’s own socially conservative extremist group: The Tea Party. And much like any sibling rivalry, the ISIS/Tea Party brothers have much to say about each other, constantly goading one another into fights, and accusing the other of the worse wrongdoing, all while acting pretty much the same way.
Case in point: The “terrorist coloring books” produced by Really Big Coloring Books, whose previous credits include “Princes & Butterflies, “Dinosaurs,” and the “U.S. Senator Ted Cruz to the Future — Comic Coloring and Activity Book.” Yes, that really is a real thing, available for $5.12 on Amazon.
Here it is:
(Puts a whole new spin on “advertising leaflet”)
But those are pretty tame titles for Really Big, whose owners hit the big time by taking a page from Rudy’s Big Book of Strategy by turning a dime on the 9/11 attacks; their first title in this new line were “We Shall Never Forget 9/11: Kids’ book of Freedom,” and “The True Faces of Evil Global Terrorism.” The latter includes fun terrorist trading cards. Later Pearl and Sapphire editions included more recent domestic terrorists like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. (Not compatible with former Carter Edition.)
But a new “Muslim Enemy Who Will Never Die” to justify our ongoing states of wars demands a new coloring book, or at least an update to the older ones. The new pages in the “True Faces of Evil” coloring book contain updated images of ISIS, and the obligatory blame for everything placed squarely where it belongs.
“The Obama Administration broke the law by freeing 5 Taliban Terrorists in Exchange for Bowe Bergdahl.”
What kid doesn’t like coloring in the dismembered pieces of terrorists getting eaten by crabs?
The BOSTON MARATHON BOMBING! That’s SUPER FUN!!
And, of course…BENGHAAZZZZZIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
Now, you might be looking at these images and thinking “What kind of idiot actually thinks kids would care about this crap?” Well, Really Big’s Founde and CEO Wayne Bell has news for you. This clearly demand-driven product was something the market was practically begging for.
“We make these books because parents ask for them. If they didn’t want them they wouldn’t buy them.”
It’s true. Though we wonder what the sales figures for his coloring books are compared to say…Avengers-themed sex toys. Particularly The Hulk. Yeesh. But everybody’s got a kink. And Bell maintains this isn’t just about pandering to one group’s particular perversions, or attempting to fill the cavernously insatiable, worn-out brain holes of his customers. These books are important, dammit.
“We’re trying to educate the country on these animals, these brutal people, these terrible humans on the planet called ISIS…These products are complicated and require adult supervision while addressing the murders of innocent Christian Children, adults and also the annihilation of entire families.”
(Actually, no…it isn’t sophisticated. That’s the problem. It’s simplistic. Much like the notion of coloring itself, filling in shades of your own desire within a set of pre-defined parameters that force the colorer to participate in the active creation of what a faceless authority figure wants them to see, of an image of the world carefully laid out in thick lines of black and white that tell said participant “This is the way it IS, motherf***er!” Or something. Whatever.)
“Brutal is hardly the word for it. Savage, barbaric and animalistic is a little bit more accurate. In an effort to explain and educate today’s youth about this hardcore cultural subject, the terrorist must be discussed with open dialogue both inside the Islamic community, and in the global community as a whole.”
Wow…we must say…that is pretty deep. Though perhaps not as penetrating a thought as this: If terrorists are such an ever-present threat to your children, a part of the fear with which they should experience their day-to-day lives…then why exactly do you have to explain the concept at all?
Gee…it almost seems as though Conservatives are doing their best to indoctrinate conceptual terror into their children as young as possible, stripping away any semblance of remaining innocence in order to create an army of religious soldiers dedicated to the future genocide of another.
Nah…that would be crazy.
Then again, we hear Hamas is training baby terrorists in Venezuela to infiltrate the U.S. disguised as border-jumping Mexican babies, so they can form cute little sleeper cells and rise up against America in a bloody, Muslim revolution later.
Wonder what their coloring books look like…