On Saturday, Phil Robertson showed up at Cullman’s Rock the South festival in Alabama–and if you were expecting a string of really, really stupid utterances about gay people and child brides you won’t be disappointed!
In a 1996 sermon, Robertson said it’s important for men to find a 15 or 16-year-old to marry. He even detailed some surefire hints on the subject, like that one should make sure that his chosen underage girl’s parents are cool with it. Of course, she needs to carry her Bible, cook (because women apparently belong in the kitchen), and that she must be willing to get down and dirty with some ducks.
At Rock the South, Robertson repeated his belief that it’s important to bag yourself a yung’un. AL.com’s Mary Colurso helpfully live tweeted quotes from the event.
Robertson also defended his infamous GQ quote that led to his suspension from Duck Dynasty. Apparently, when he said that “a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus,” he was being nice.
“I’m trying to help those poor souls and turn them to Jesus,”Robertson added–which is apparently what he was doing in a 2010 sermon, when he compared homosexuality to bestiality and referred to the LGBT community as “full of murder, envy, strife, hatred,” and called them “insolent, arrogant God-haters” who are “heartless, faithless, senseless,” and “ruthless.”
He ended his appearance with a conservative call to arms: “Hey, Alabama, whatever you do, register to vote for this presidential election!” Robertson exclaimed. “Go vote for the House and the Senate, too. Vote this ungodly bunch out of Washington, D.C!”