Comrade Karl Marx Obama is at it again, and this time he’s failed The Party in a big, big way. As though he were a secret capitalist simply ignoring instructions from Central Command, Obama has brazenly increased private sector employment in a single month more than at any other point in the last 15 years. In fact, 2014 overall has been our strongest year for job growth since our last notoriously capitalist and elitist saxophone player, Bill Clinton.
According to a November report released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the United States added 321,000 jobs in the last month alone, up from the also-impressive 274,000 of November last year. Only about 7,000 of those were in government jobs, which isn’t surprising given the fact that our supposed “socialist” president has employed fewer government workers than anyone since the 1960s.
Overall, we’ve seen a 1.2 percent drop in unemployment, and a reduction of 1.7 million unemployed people. Wages have been almost completely stagnant, their 2.1 percent rise just keeping up with inflation. Average working hours went up from 34.5 hours a week to 34.6 hours a week.
Much of the gain in employment benefited those who have been unemployed for a long time, as there has been a 1.2-million-person drop in long-term unemployment. That is, those who have been actively looking for work for 27 weeks or more.
The big winners this month were (in thousands):
- Retail Trade — 50K
- Outpatient healthcare — 24.3K
- Warehousing and transportation — 16.5K
- Cars and car parts — 10.5K
- Insurance companies — 10.1K
- Temp services — 22.7K
- Employment services — 28.4K
- Restaurants and bars — 26.5K
- Residential specialty trade contractors — 13.3K
Notable losers this month included mining, non-residential building, clothing production, chemical production, the movie industry and performing arts, nursing homes, and oddly enough department stores and miscellaneous stores.
“Wait,” you might be asking. “How is it that retail jobs can go up, but department store and miscellaneous store employment can go down? In a word: Walmart. It’s doing a very good job of putting other stores out of business, and then hiring back half of their now unemployed staff at a lower price.
Every day. Walmart.
Overall, though, the employment picture is looking pretty good. Especially in the healthcare industry, which we’re told was completely destroyed by Obamacare. For most people, this has been a banner year, and you’ve got nothing but good times to look forward to.
Unless, of course, you’re a Millennial. In which case, you’re broke and screwed. Because, really…what else is new? Said Tami Luhby of CNN Money:
Median annual wages have fallen in nearly all of the most popular industry sectors that employ 25 to 34-year-olds over the past decade.
In retail and wholesale trade, which employs the largest share of these older Millennials, median wages plummeted 15% to $25,000. Wages in the leisure and hospitality industry fell 5% to $18,000. Only healthcare, the second most popular field, saw wages grow, albeit by a paltry 2% to $30,000.
“They are not finding the jobs they need to set them up for their long-term financial future,” said Konrad Mugglestone, co-author of the report.
In other news: Today, the sun rose in the east, it rained in Burma and Dick Cheney said “mhYAH!”
But worry not, fellow friends born between AIDS and 9/11 (give or take)…it looks as though thanks to Comrade Obama, we’ll t least be able to default back to Plan A. That is, wait out the people who are doing just peachy. Statistically, they have to die eventually. But there’s a good chance they’ll be vacating a job position when they go, and that’s the important part.