A Missouri House budget committee is unfairly weighting its recommendations toward the Tea Party. Need proof? Representative Mike Lair (R) put forth an amendment to the budget, recommending that additional money be spent to assist Republicans in the decision-making process: Tin-foil hats.
Realizing that his Republican brothers need a little bit of additional help with figuring out what is, and is not, reality, Lair proposed that eight dollars be set aside for “two rolls of high density aluminum to create headgear designed to deflect drone and/or black helicopter mind reading and control technology.”
Lair’s recommended $8 appropriation may be a joke, but the meaning is completely serious: “Stop being idiots with Common Core.” Lair, like many Republican lawmakers, is annoyed with the paranoid delusion under which many right wingers suffer that Common Core standards, which set benchmarks for many of American students’ weakest areas, are part of President Obama’s evil Communist socialist anti-Christian dictatorial scheme to control childrens’ minds.
The amendment to which the $8 tin foil hat allocation is tied would also remove language that bars the state from using federal grants to implement Common Core standards.
Lair explained that “Basically, when you deal with conspiracy theorists, you do logic first… If you can’t deal with folks with logic, you use humor. This is to stop all the problems from the black helicopters and drones. This is high density foil.”
Lair is not the first of the state’s lawmakers to publicly reprimand his fellows for their paranoid ways. In May, Rep. Michael Frame (D) was reprimanded by Speaker Tim Jones (R) for wearing a tinfoil hat as a protest of a proposed ban on Sharia Law and a nullification of federal gun laws in Missouri. During that same session, a black toy helicopter flew up from the floor to the press gallery.
One thing is for certain: Missouri lawmakers are fed up with Missouri lawmakers. All this truly amounts to is more pork spending–but at least the pork will be crispy on the outside with all the yummy juices sealed in.
It’s not often a Republican wins our hearts, but you have done it Mr. Lair.