Take it from someone who lives ten miles from the guy — Marco Rubio is kind of a big deal in South Florida. Down here, Rubio’s heritage has been a particular boon; he’s practically the default choice among South Florida’s Retired and Cuban populations. Yes, Retirees and Cubans, the two groups whose open disgust for the homosexuals is surpassed only by their seething hatred of los comunistas. To Marco Rubio’s constituency, every day is 1959! And he’s such a handsome young man! Like a young Ritche Valens, he is…
But La Bambas and Red Scare standards aside, this little bit of covert campaign chicanery goes a little past your typical political espionage — a particularly dirty dance, if you will. The Miami Herald reported today that of the almost $4 million raised by Marco Rubio’s PAC, barely 16 percent went to fund his colleagues’ races. The average for GOP “leadership” PACs like his is 48 percent. On a list of 298 PACs similar to Rubio’s, his ranked 254th in the percentage of money disbursed to candidates. And that’s a tad on the low side, for the second biggest Republican PAC there is. Indeed, out of that list of 298, Rubio’s Reclaim America is second in size and wealth only to Paul Ryan’s.
In total, Rubio spent a mere $645K on other candidates, about $528K of which went out in the form of direct donations. The rest was in “Assistance” provided for direct mailing, telemarketing and research. And it gets better.
The PAC money Rubio sent out went to three candidates. About $54K to Colorado’s Cory Gardner, $165K went to Cotton Thomas of Arizona, and a whopping $326K went to none other than Iowa’s newest Tea Party, gunslinging psychopath, Joni Ernst.
You might remember Joni Ernst as…well…as Yosimite Sam with lady parts. And that second part hasn’t been confirmed as yet. She’s Iowa’s hardest NRA shill, who early on in her campaign seemed so absurd as to be nearly unelectable. With her talk of castrating hogs, taking aim at liberals (complete with gunsight) and riding into frame on Harleys while wearing American flag boots with rock music playing in the background, Joni couldn’t have been more of a caricature of right-wing lunacy if she’d been conceived as a cartoon in the Washington Post.
But, never put anything past a midterm election where nobody shows up to vote. Even though Iowa did in fact score a high for the number of people who turned out to vote in a mid-term, turnout was still on 53 percent. With 52 percent of that, Joni now serves as a member of the U.S. senate, having been put in office by slightly more than a quarter of Iowa’s voters.
Well, the voters, and about $326,000 of Marco Rubio’s money.
With that single payment, Rubio became Joni’s biggest donor, and by a considerable margin. The next biggest donor was the Senate Conservatives Fund, which pitched in$144,000 to Joni’s cause. Following them was the Club for Growth, at $65,000.
So, why would Marco Rubio throw this kind of weight behind Joni Ernst? Among the usual donors including Goldman Sachs and a bunch of bankers and real estate investors, the majority of Reclaim America’s individual donations came from retirees. And the majority of those retirees came from South Florida. So, what do a bunch of South Florida retirees care about a nutjob senator from Iowa? Where the Hell DID the other $3.2 million dollars they donated go?
It went into…fundraising for Reclaim America, and building up Marco Rubio’s brand name. Effectively, building up Reclaim America’s donor list for 2016, when most analysts predict Marco will make a run for the Republican presidential nomination. Or, as we call it, “First Loser.” And now the support of Joni Ernst starts making sense.
As the newest conservative figurehead from Iowa, Ernst will have massive pull among Republicans in the Iowa caucuses. The reality is that anyone she supports for nomination in Iowa will probably get it. And winning the Iowa caucases is a tremendously big deal in terms of media hype, since the results from that state are generally considered an early indicator of who’s going to win the presidential nomination for each party. An early win in Iowa builds presidential nomination momentum like nothing else.
In all but a couple of cases, the Iowa caucuses have accurately foreshadowed the nominations for both parties going all the way back to Gerald Ford in 1976. Presidential nominations, and presidents, are made in the hallways of the Iowa caucuses.
And Marco Rubio just bought one big foot in the door.
Ultimately then, the Reclaim America PAC isn’t so much about putting other people in office as it is securing Marco Rubio the 2016 nomination for First Loser. And as we’ve learned recently, it doesn’t really matter if a Republican nominee wins or not; winning isn’t even the point anymore. Simply running as First Loser is practically a golden ticket in the conservative reality bubble, and Marco Rubio intends to cash in big time.
As long as esos bastardos homosexuales comunistas don’t ruin his plans first.
Se necessita una poca de gracia…
SOURCE: Miami Herald, December 29th, 2014 “Rubio Not Big on Spreading the Wealth.”