A Tacoma, Washington man who got arrested and facing a raft of charges from failing to steal donuts to running away from a police dog, has claimed that he was high while he was doing it.
High on Jesus.
Andrew Stanley’s attempt to get right with Jesus began when he rear-ended a stopped car in a turning lane, yelled at the driver, and then put his truck into reverse, heading to a gas station. Once in the gas station he threw two boxes of donuts on the counter and demanded the gas he needed.
When the clerk locked the cash register, Stanley jumped the counter and tried to open it, hollering and throwing things as he did so. When that proved futile, Stanley took off, and the police tracked him down, where he was eventually taken down by a police dog. The police who arrested him say that he was high on something, and Stanley had no problem agreeing with them, saying that “he is filled with the Holy Spirit and said the officer could draw his blood, but all he would find would be God.”
The police did a blood test, but gave no mention of any divine platelets or THC (The Holy Christ?) floating around in his body. Stanley faces charges including attempted robbery, DUI, hit and run, driving with a suspended license, and failure to use a required ignition interlock device.
More crazy Jesus sh*t.
- Bride Ties Baby to Wedding Dress, Drags Her Down the Aisle — Because Jesus
- Epic TEAvangelical Derp: No Climate Change; It’s the Imminent Return of Jesus Christ (Video)
- Psycho Clown Glenn Beck Validates Miracle of Jesus Pancake (Video)
- Not Cool: Toddlers Acting Out the Torture and Crucifixion of Jesus Christ