Seems the Religious Revenge Porn market isn’t quite what it used to be. Yes, after three weeks, it’s time to call it: The new “Left Behind” movie starring Nicolas Cage is officially one of the biggest box-office bombs in history. Despite having a budget of more than four times its predecessor, and a lead who was at least at one point on Hollywood’s A-List, Left Behind 2014 is still $3 million short of matching even its modest $16 million budget.
The original Left Behind starring now-converted right-wing whackjob Kirk Cameron made bank (or at least broke even) in large part by being incredibly well timed. Notably, it was actually released on video (video!) in October of 2000, just before Jeb Bush weaseled his brother into the White House. And it remained on video until Bush was inaugurated, whereupon it made an incredible backward leap into theaters.
On its opening weekend, the theatrical release made at least half its budget, despite being utterly panned by critics for it’s God Awful acting and production quality that was laughable even by 90’s direct-to-video standards. As of now, Cameron’s Left Behind didn’t exactly rock the scoreboards on Rotten Tomatoes:
Now, compare that to the new version’s entry on Rotten Tomatoes…14 years later, when psychotic conservatism isn’t exactly on the rise.
That look on Nic’s face: “What happened here? Last thing I remember was…being in Face/Off.“
Guess we’ll never get that Castor Troy prequel now.
But you would think that at least the faithful would have liked Cage’s Left Behind. It is, after, probably fair to assume that 16 percent at least roughly represents the number of psychotic evangelicals in the U.S. And the original still has a strong cult following.
But lo, for even as a prophet is hated among his own people, so has Left Behind 2014 been put to the torch by those with whom it shares a straightjacket. Why? Because it seems that not even Evangelical Revenge Porn is immune from the brutalities of cinematic hipsterism. Here are a few comments from the official trailer on Youtube, which you can find at the bottom of this page:
Yes, those of us who have reached the Age of Reason might take a bit of Schadenfreude joy in rubbing salt* in this open wound of a film. And it is fun in a sadistic kind of way. But gleeful sadism can be turned to a constructive purpose, when it’s set to oppose an ideology that’s inherently destructive. That’s pretty much the business plan for political satire.
Bearing that in mind, we’ll leave you with this: A (lightly edited) user review from IMBD that sums up not only Left Behind, but its Religious Revenge Porn audience in general.
A One-Off From an ISIS Fantasy
Author: Will Andermann
23 October 2014
I realize that my experience of the film is thoroughly determined both by its premise, and the execrable horror that believers in the Rapture present to us. In any event, as I watched it I realized how much many fundamentalist Christians (those who write reviews here about this film being “something that is very exciting to Christian believers“) and ISIS have in common.
ISIS apparently believes in dishing out heavenly ordained atrocities themselves, and by their actions acquire additional holiness. Rapture fantacists (of course posturing innocence by claiming they will be only witnesses of a cataclysm that bears no wishful content on their part) hope that their god will dish out those atrocities. And through their belief in the Rapture they will acquire additional holiness, along with the aforesaid excitement.
In both cases we confront a kind of sanctioned sadism that is simply repellent and thoroughly unexciting. Dismaying. Rapture fantacists only disagree with ISIS about who should die and under what auspices. These thoughts sorta got in the way of appreciating anything else about the film.
Compared to this stuff, other apocalyptic films, like Day After Tomorrow, seem downright upbeat. In these, you can get your thrills from megadeaths, and then interpret the film as inspiring a change in social practices. Not so here.
And, just for fun…speaking of Religious Revenge Porn’s home audience: Here’s Ray Comfort, right-wing Tealord of The Comfort Zone being super-DUPER excited about Left Behind 2014. Well…a week before it came out, anyway.
*NOTE: If you feel like visiting the Official Trailer on YouTube to rub some salt in some wounds…please spare JamGrl68. She’s as batsh*t crazy as any of them, but good people otherwise.