On Thursday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart commented on the president’s new strategy for dealing with the Islamic State “to replace our previous strategy of not having a strategy.”
He noted that the Republicans have always had a strategy for dealing with them, a very simple and straight forward strategy — Kill them all!
“We appear to be at a crossroads,” he said, “between the nuanced vision of a non-omnipotent America projecting power selectively and some sort of weird all powerful Tarantino America that cleanses the world of sin through slow motion bloodbaths.”
“Last night,” Stewart continued, “our ‘mom jeans’ wearing, socialist, Muslim, dictator, tyrant, pacifist went full America f**k yeah!”
Jon suggested that perhaps using Yemen and Somalia as examples of how well this new strategy will work may not have been the best choice, since it is a decades old policy with no appreciable change in either country.
Next Stewart noticed that the coalition the president has put together to fight ISIS/ISIL “looks awfully ‘Christiany'” and somewhat reminiscent of the Crusades. “Can a brother get an Ottoman up in this bitch?” He asked.
Of course we can. We have Turkey, the only Muslim nation to join the coalition, although it is unlikely that they will be willing to take part in any military action and are more likely to offer only moral support.
“Can’t go to war against a Muslim group without at least one Muslim ally,” Jon wailed. “Now we’re just a group of grown men at the One Direction concert without any kids. We’re there for the right reason, we love the music, but that’s not what everyone else thinks.”
Stewart hit on the real answer to the unrest in the Middle East however:
“The United States can’t fix this, because it can’t be fixed by waving a magic bomb.”
Watch the segment in the video below from Comedy Central.