Could John McCain be a fan the wacky weed? Consider the evidence:
1a) One of marijuana’s many legitimate uses is to help people establish regular sleep patterns.
1b) MCain’s been caught sleeping in the Senate a few times.
2a) According to a Nova Southeastern University Survey, 38 percent of poker playing respondents said that they smoked pot prior to playing, in order to prevent “tilt.” One player said:
Marijuana is by far the most safe and effective substance used to aid poker performance.
2b) Chronic marijuana use has been associated with divided attention and impaired time estimation.
2c) While he wasn’t asleep during September 3rd’s three-hour-long hearing on Syria, he accidentally did do a lot to promote the cell phone poker industry.
3a) Marijuana’s a well-known antidepressant, and studies suggest that marijuana can help to prevent suicides.
3b) McCain was hardly apologetic about the event, joking that his biggest regret about the incident was that he lost. Even the suicidally depressing seriousness of Syrian gas attacks didn’t kill McCain’s ability to joke about his inability to pay attention.
4a) Marijuana is often used to help cancer patients regain their appetites; about 73 percent cancer patients taking THC pills for 18 days report an increased appreciation for food, and 64 percent reported an increase in appetite.
4b) The average weight of a man standing 5 feet 8 inches tall is 139 to 151 pounds. McCain weighs about 165.
5a) Marijuana use among senior citizens has risen from 1.9 percent to 2.9 percent between 2002 and 2008, and use among people aged 55 to 59 has tripled.
5b) John McCain is older than God.
Is all of that a bit to circumstantial to convince you that John McCain is one “special brownie” away from showing up to work with a tie-dyed tie? Then we present this quote, which John McCain gave to the Arizona Daily Star’s Tim Stellar on September 5th. Stellar tweeted:
McCain: ‘Maybe we should legalize. We’re certainly moving that way as far as marijuana is concerned. I respect the will of the people.’
So…DUDE! We rest our case. John McCain is totally a pothead!
All jokes aside, maybe the fact that we keep making jokes about politicians who are being completely rational about a wonderful drug is part of the problem. Especially for Republicans and conservatives, many of whom might publicly support reasonable legalization, but who can’t afford to be seen by their constituency as “That Pothead.” For many, it’s not about American lawmakers following the will of the people.
Sad to say, but we really have come to expect a certain degree of corruption in our representatives. It truly has gotten to the point that we assume that all politicians work solely on the basis of a personal agenda. But…maybe…you think it’s possible that we have one or two who still see themselves as “representatives of the people?” Who do (or want to do) what the people who elected them would do in their position?
Honestly…say you never once glanced at your cell phone while somebody droned on and on about Syria. Go ahead. Say it.
Or, maybe John McCain is just a pothead. I mean, for serious: LOOK at this dude’s picture up top. Just…absorb the Tao of that face, man.