For those of us who live in the fantasy world provided by modern science, measles is caused by a virus called Paramyxoviridae, which is actually more closely related to Ebola than most people would be comfortable acknowledging (you do remember the Ebola virus, right?) According to the lies of science, the virus is an extremely contagious one, and it makes people miserable when they get infected. We all know that’s not true, because people have wrote books about how marvelous measles are.
It’s a good thing Alabama Public Service Commissioner Chip Beeker can see right through that, though. See, Mr. Beeker knows the real cause for measles, and he identified it in a rant this week: measles is caused by same-sex marriage.
Okay, one question: who leaked this information? How are we supposed to effectively keep the public hoodwinked if people keep leaking this stuff? You people have got to be running one of the most incompetent satanic conspiracies I’ve ever seen, and I’m a regular reader of Infowars.
According to the Alabama Public Service Commission’s website, the mission statement is to “ensure a regulatory balance between regulated companies and consumers in order to provide consumers with safe, adequate and reliable services at rates that are equitable and economical.”
That’s nice, but if you’ve ever wondered what kind of public service you can really find in Alabama — the only reason they’re not 50th in the nation for everything is because Mississippi exists — wonder no longer. You know you’re in for a rough ride, though, when three public service officials decide to turn a normal Tuesday meeting into their personal soapbox to rail against those Black-Robed Tyrants.
Beeker said it reminded him of “the difference of our federal government when we were children and how then they did not punish success and they did not reward sloth,” and that “with the crowd we have in D.C. today, with the wealth redistribution scheme, that is exactly what is happening. Back then the federal government did not entrap people in a welfare state. From which, there is no escape.”
There’s been an ongoing wealth redistribution scam since the 1980s and Ronald Reagan, and it works like this: take the wealth of the working class and the poor and redistribute it to the upper class through tax breaks and tax cuts. They call it “trickle-down economics”or “libertarianism,” and it was perpetuated by scam artist Milton Friedman. It’s a literal pyramid scheme: you have the extremely wealthy and aristocratic 0.01% at the top and the vast swaths destitute poor chained to the global favela at the bottom.
He continued his rant, noting that “when I was a child” he walked through forty miles of sleet and snow just to get to the place where they parked the trained Woolly Mammoths. He and his fellow Neanderthals could never “have imagined the federal government would have sent American citizens unemployment checks because they could not find a job to do, but endorse the idea that the people who come to this country illegally could have those jobs.”
He also praised Governor Robert Bentley and Chief Justice Roy Moore (how and when the hell did Moore get his position back?), because both of them vowed to block same-sex marriage and “this usurpation of the rights of Alabamians.”
Non-gay ‘Bamans. The queer folk from ‘Bama don’t matter; they don’t have rights.
He railed against the “moral decline” of our country, stating that “You do not have to look further than the schools to find it” because schools are no longer required to post copies of the Ten Commandments (and about the other 500+ commandments in Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and the other books: something-something Covenant, something-something Jesus, something-something dilithium crystals reversing the polarity of the Heisenberg Compensater in the warp core stop asking, okay?)
He explained that, “Just this morning, it was reported that a daycare located inside a public school has been closed due to the threat of a measles outbreak. A daycare inside a public school! That kind of thing unthinkable a generation ago is common in some part of our country.”
“But the results of the removal of God from the schools is as plain as the results of the attempted removal of God from all of the United States,” he mourned, adding that,“Over the last 20 years or so, we have turned from God and his principles in order to be politically correct.”
Political correctness is what angry white men call “basic manners” when they’re directed at people who aren’t white and aren’t men. It’s fitting he’d be ranting about school, because he needs a trip back to kindergarten so he can learn how this “socialization” thing works.
He ended his ran with a threat from his imaginary friend, warning that his God would “hold us accountable” for the failure in protecting ‘Bama’s “resources” and “Christian principles.”
Congratulations, Alabama. This man is a Public Services Commissioner for your state. I eagerly await to see how Mississippi takes this bar and buries it with the rest of the dog bones in the backyard.
Watch the video below: