I’ve been practicing Spanish lately, and it looks like a few Republicans think ISIL extremists have been, too. According to the Sheriff of Midland County, Gary Painter, “Quran books” found on the border link back to the terrorist group in Iraq and Syria, who have cells in Ciudade Juarez ready at a moment’s notice to bomb America.
But don’t you worry none; Painter is a “born leader of men,” and told
Paste Eating Time with Steve Doocy and Friends Fox and Friends that if ISIL members are poised to infiltrate the border, he and his posse are gonna “send them to Hell.”
What exactly Detroit did to deserve that? It’s the closest major city to Hell in the state.
Federal Agents say that there isn’t any credible information that terrorists are crossing the southern border of the United States, so it’s a good thing the audience of Fox doesn’t care about credibility.
Painter told Elizabeth Hasselbeck that:
“I received an intelligence report that said that there were ISIS cells that were active in Juarez [Mexico] and that there was some activity for the sheriffs along the border to be on alert.”
“I’m saying the border is wide open. We have found copies, or people along the border, have found Muslim clothing, they have found Quran books that are laying on the side of the trail. So we know that there are Muslims that have come across, have been smuggled in the United States.”
Mexico has a population of Muslims, albeit it’s a very small population. The discovery of those “Quran books” is major, earth-shattering proof that yes, this population of little over 3,000 Muslims actually exists.
And nothing else.
Fortunately for the good people of Texas, Sheriff Barney Fife and company are there to keep them safe from these “Quran book”-toting terrorists:
If they show their ugly head in our area, we’ll send them to hell. I think the United States needs to get busy and they need to bomb them. They need to take them out. I would like for them to hit them so hard and so often that every time they hear a propeller on a plane or a jet aircraft engine that they urinate down both legs.
I was under the impression that most drones don’t use propellers, but it’s a good thing that Sheriff Clouseau from Midland, Texas (~260 miles away from Juarez) is here to educate us.
You can watch the full interview below:
h/t: Daily Kos