If it seems like the air suddenly got thick in here, it’s because you’re choking on the syrupy smog of irony generations in the making.
We’re all used to a certain level of irony from Teabaggers, usually springing like a hilarious stink-weed from the swamp of ulterior motive and hypocrisy. The Tea Party’s Morissette-level of irony has been so consistent over the years that some of us have (to some extent) become cynically immune to it irony itself. Well, get your Buddy Holly glasses ready, and prepare to return to sweet snarkiness.
Teabaggers have a certain habit of never fearing the gun as long as they’re the ones with their fingers on the trigger. It was true about the military buildup following 9/11, it was true about the Patriot Act, and apparently it’s still the case when it comes to building up massive databases of gun owners.
It’s no secret these days that data mining is big business, and targeted marketing is the holy grail. Fox “News” has had quite a bit to say on the matter in recent days. And they were especially incensed about the idea of the IRS collecting information from Twitter and Facebook
No surprise there. Because, you know, everything you post on the internet is sacrosanct.
That was an ironic statement. Here’s another one: As rabidly as Alex “Red Dawn in Slow Motion” Jones and his buddies have been on the idea of a government gun registration, they apparently don’t mind the idea that the NRA has spent decades compiling THE EXACT SAME REGISTRY.
To be fair, this isn’t exactly news to NRA members: My father was a member of the NRA for many years, and he had no problem at all telling them everything short of the dates of his kids’ circumcisions. And why not? Anything that helps to spread the good word of gun safety can’t be a bad thing, and he didn’t mind getting monthly advertisements for new parts and exploding rounds for his .45 or sawed-off Terminator Gun. And it’s not as though you’re giving information to the GUMMINT. Those are the fascist Nazi bastards you really have to worry about. Right? It’s not like Wayne LaPierre is coming to take your guns…it’s those jack-booted Stalinist Hitlerists in the Oval Office.
The NRA loves us. The NRA adores us. The NRA protects —
Point is, there’s no offense in voluntarily giving information to an organization that says it’s on your side. Even Facebook…I mean, come on. We all knew they weren’t exactly consumer advocates from Day One. But those heroes at the NRA> They PROTECT our privacy, and the Nazis would have to pry that gun registration list from Charlton Heston’s (now) cold, dead hands.
That’s the theory, anyway. Here’s the reality, straight from the NRA’s Privacy Notice
“The NRA may disclose personally identifiable information (i) to another entity with which NRA enters or reasonably may enter into a corporate transaction, such as, for example, a merger, consolidation, acquisition, or asset purchase, (ii) to a third party pursuant to a subpoena, court order, or other form of legal process or in response to a request by or on behalf of any local, state, federal, or other government agency, department, or body, whether or not pursuant to a subpoena, court order, or other form of legal process.”
I’ll give you a minute to read (ii) again.
That’s right…the NRA’s heroic registry of 3 million gun owners belongs to the Federal government, and all they have to do is ask for it with a subpoena. A really POLITE subpoena, for sure. But President Buh-LACK Insane NoBama doesn’t even have to sign it…any old Federal judge will do.
Matter of fact, the NRA can hand 3 million gun owners names to anyone it damned well pleases: “Another entity with which NRA enters or reasonably may enter into a corporate transaction.” They don’t even have to have a reason; If the NRA’s even THINKING about brokering a silent merger with King Rambo McKillabunch of Pakistan’s “People’s Freedom Machete Syndicate for Allah,” then guess who can ask where you live, how many people live there, how many guns you own and when you took a day off for Junior’s bris?
Here’s a hint: It ain’t Santa Claus, and he doesn’t care if you’re naughty or nice. And he’s got a machete.
Thanks, Dad. Respect.