Since Congress can’t manage to pass any worthwhile gun control regulation, why not the next best thing? What is the next best thing, exactly? Why, bulletproof blankets, of course!
The Bodyguard Blanket™, developed by father of two elementary school students Steve Walker, was developed to protect children from NRA-inspired school carnage. Walker, horrified by the Sandy Hook shooting, designed the blankets to use the same materials the US soldiers and law enforcement wear.
According to the manufacturer web site, the blanket was designed with two functions in mind:
- (1.) …as a bullet resistant body cover to protect against school incursions, and the weapons assailants commonly use.
- (2.) …as a protective body cover to be used during tornadoes and damaging weather
“We wanted our children to have a layer of protection immediately,” Walker told Oklahoma station KFOR. “They can be stored in the classroom, and, when seconds count, they can be easily applied.”
The blankets come in child and adult sizes, and are strapped on the back like a backpack. Then, when a child crouches in a ball and huddles up next to other children during the next school shooting, they become a human shield, of sorts. See? Problem solved. Much easier than simply regulating firearms a little.
The bullet-proof blankets are pricey.
The blankets are pricey, too. They cost nearly $1,000. A classroom with thirty children would be an easy $30,000 payday for Walker. The site even allows visitors to donate blankets to “schools, daycare centers, churches, and other organizations located in your community.”
The blanket provides protection, according to the manufacturer, against “90% of all weapons that have been used in school shootings in the United States.”
There you have it, folks! We have no sensible gun regulations in place to help deal with the surge in mass shootings … but at least we have the option to spend $1,000 on bulletproof shielding for our children.
Coming soon: Kiddie riot gear!