Conservatives live in an imaginary world where liberals pal around with Hitler and Mao, but here in the real world, right-wingers are the ones buddy-buddy with self-described “terrorists.”
Slated to speak at “The Awakening,” a pretentiously named event organized by the Liberty Counsel and featuring a cast of radical revanchist reactionaries including Bobby “Party of Stupid” Jindal, Rick “Don’t Google my Name at Work” Santorum, and Mike “Ladyfolk Shouldn’t Be Swearing” Huckabee, is “ex-terrorist” Kamal Saleem.
Saleem is a Fox News Expert when it comes to things like Islam. Saleem has claimed in the past that he spent years as a leading terrorist with ties to Al Qaeda, Moammar Gadhafi, and Saddam Hussein. Like all good right-wing fiction, this baseball bat pretending to be a narrative ends with the protagonist finding Jesus and living the American Dream, and leaves the rest of us with a concussion from the sheer unsubtly of its presentation.
Being a Fox News Expert, Saleem tends to spout nonsense. His stories are highly suspect, patently unbelievable, and cast a Gary Stu protagonist. For instance, Saleem claims to have outrun Israeli military fire while carrying a dead friend after a botched weapons smuggling operation at the tender age of eight.
I wasn’t aware that Israeli soldiers graduated from the Imperial School of Marksmanship.
He reminds me of the right-wing Christians who claim to have been Satanists and Witches and tell lurid stories of their life before their conversion. I wonder if he secretly worshiped Beezlebulb and other demons . . . but not Mammon; right wingers are cool with Mammon.
Since the right wing compartmentalizes cognitive dissonance really well, the implausibilities and inconsistencies in his claims have only served to enhance his reputation. So much so that he’s going to be among those participating in “The Awakening” with various GOP presidential hopefuls.
Saleem is achieving so much popularity and so much social traction among the right-wing, Liberty Counsel’s Mat Staver cited him specifically while pitching the even to a local Tea Party group in Orlando, Florida. While selling the event, Staver painted Saleem as a vicious terrorist who was saved by the power of Jesus Beams — but not before he threw Jews off the tops of buildings in Lebanon:
Kamal Saleem was a terrorist. He was actually engaged in terrorist activity from a young boy and he knew all the top terrorist leaders from … the head of Libya, the head of Syria, he knew all these different people. And he actually killed Jews, threw people off the tops of buildings during the Lebanon crisis and in the Green Zone, he was involved in active terrorism. Brutal stuff
So . . . hang on. He’s Antisemitic terrorist who threw Jewish people off roof tops during the “Lebanon crisis and in the Green Zone.” He’s not been tried, he hasn’t been punished, and we haven’t killed him with a drone (this is how I know he’s not a terrorist and never was). But he did save 15% off his entry fee into Heaven because he switched to Jesus?
And he’s speaking next to major Republican presidential candidates?
If you can’t see what’s wrong with this picture, congratulations, you’re probably a Republican tool.
For people who actually know about the Lebanese Civil War, Staver is (hopefully) referring the Green Line, which divided the Christian and Muslim parts of Beirut from one another. The Green Zone is the common name for the International Zone of Baghdad, but if he confused the two, Staver wouldn’t be the first big-name Republican to fail Middle Eastern geography.
Watch Mat Staver pitch the event below: