There’s a longstanding belief among primitive fascist cultures that things that happen as the result of chance or battle are the will of God, and that the outcome of any fight is proof of God’s desire for a particular outcome. Whether you’re talking about David and Goliath, the race of two sperm to a particular egg, or a couple of stone-aged ogres hacking at each other for Kingship, the rule of Divine Right via Combat is a concept with deep roots in conservative ideology.
So, maybe it’s entirely reasonable that in the might-makes-right conservative jungle, the young rogue works to gain rank primarily by attacking and eating the elder male. If the elder happens to have a broken leg when he’s attacked…well, it must be God’s will.
And if you can’t get what you want through Divine Combat…well, maybe you should just burn the place down.
Self-described “comedian” Stephen Crowder was raised in the toughest, whitest suburbs of Canada. He would be a combination of Ted Cruz and Bill O’Reilly if he didn’t have more in common with Tucker Max and the ever-present football-player rapist in a Butthole Surfers song.
Jock-strong novice judo master, mixed martial artist and perfect-hair advocate Crowder has been bringing his worldly 20-something vision to bear on Fox for a few years. He’s been wildly successful as an actor, going on to such starring roles as “Friend,” “Party Kid” and “Baseball Boy #1” — and he had a regular segment on Fox until fairly recently.
See, according to Mr. Crowder, when it comes to Fox and money, you don’t negotiate. You do as you’re told. As an interesting insight into the twisted world that is Rupert Murdoch’s mind, Crowder makes the fascinating observation that
“There’s no other game in town [for conservative commentators]…I literally haven’t had an agent since Fox, because they won’t talk to them. It’s well-known that you can’t even bring an agent to the table at Fox.”
He later on cited a story about Brian Kilmeade’s attempt to negotiate for more during his contract renewal (a common enough event), only to be told be by Fox to take what they offered or walk. That seems pretty reasonable, given what we know about ALL moneyed Conservatives, whose primary concern in conserving anything is conserving the balance of their bank accounts. However, this might also be sour grapes on Crowder’s part; the writer of the Mediaite article that originally turned us on to this story, a former Fox producer, said that (at least during his tenure), agents and negotiations were commonplace.
But, apparently, Crowder’s still AMAZINGLY popular. During this interview, he supposedly receives three phone calls from “producers in New York,” and then pointedly refuses to answer the phone because he won’t lower himself to…answering the phone. Or something. Apparently, he’s none too happy about these New York producers calling and offering him work, because they didn’t call two weeks ago.
“Kill me if I ever move to New York City again…I don’t want to become a trash bag like that.”
Yeah. Assuming you’re not utterly speaking from the place where your ass would have been had it not already been replaced with a clone of Glenn Beck’s head…welcome to the business, kid. And, also…too late.