With the recent Supreme Court ruling upholding state-sponsored prayer, we’ve been wondering when someone would show “Christians” who choose to ignore Matthew 6:5, which tells believers not to make a public spectacle of prayer, exactly what a can of worms they have opened by demanding that public meetings be opened with a big, showy expression of faith.
Well, that day has come, friends! Less than three days after the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the town of Greece, NY’s claim that opening its meetings with what amounted to Christian-only prayer did not violate the Establishment clause of the Constitution (somehow), a Florida resident is putting the ruling to the test!
Chaz Stevens, who forced Florida Governor Rick Scott to allow him to display an eight-foot Festivus pole made of Pabst Blue Ribbon cans next to Deerfield Beach’s nativity scene has written to the city asking that he be allowed to open a meeting with a prayer to his god.
Stevens has converted to Satanism just in time to take advantage of the ruling. Stevens says that his change of faith is just as legitimate as Christianity. “At Christmas, I was a Pabstfestidian. It’s legitimate — it’s based in as much reality as the Catholics. But unlike Catholic priests, we don’t rape little boys.”
However, he has converted to Satanism because, “Satan is a cool dude. Think of all the people he’s in charge of. Do you want to be stuck listening to harp music in the afterlife? Hell no. I want to drink beer and hang with hookers.”
In a letter written to Deerfield Beach, he formally made his request:
With the recent US Supreme Court ruling allowing “prayer before Commission meetings” and seeking the rights granted to others, I hereby am requesting I be allowed to open a Commission meeting praying for my God, my divine spirit, my Dude in Charge.
Be advised, I am a Satanist.
Let me know when this is good for you.
Chaz Stevens, Calling in from Ring 6 of Dante’s Inferno”
If you are wondering if his “faith” is serious, it’s not–but his intent is. “I just want equal billing. We allow various religious nutjobs to give a prayer. They pray to Jesus who is make-believe, god who is make-believe, why not Satan who is make-believe? Why discriminate against one make-believe god over another? Satan and I are being circumvented. The city of Deerfield Beach has once again declared war on religion — and this time it’s Satanism.”
Stevens has also made a request to the Department of Management asking to once again install his Festivus pole and for information on how to formally request that he be able to open a Florida state Senate session with a prayer to Satan.
1. I’d like to (once again) install my PBR Festivus Pole in the Rotunda during the upcoming winter holiday season.
2. Given the recent US Supreme Court ruling (City of Greece, NY), I would like to open up a Session with a prayer to my god Satan. Kindly advise me how to seek approval for that.”
“To hold that invocations must be nonsectarian,” wrote Justice Kennedy, “would force the legislatures that sponsor prayers and the courts that are asked to decide these cases to act as supervisors and censors of religious speech, a rule that would involve government in religious matters to a far greater degree than is the case under the town’s current practice of neither editing or approving prayers in advance nor criticizing their content after the fact.”
In other words, prayer may glorify a particular god–including the Dark One.
We look forward to seeing Lord Lucifer uplifted in prayer in public meetings across the country.