Texas Tea Party darling Blake Farenthold is no stranger to scandals of bad taste. In fact, just since he was elected by a margin of 799 votes to represent Corpus Cristi in 2010, he’s racked up almost as many embarrassments than for his wholesome, middle-American constituents than he has chins. It’s hard to say why he even got into politics in the first place. But then again, how many other fields have the potential to put these people together in the same photograph?
The above photo was taken at a lingerie party, where the girls totally weren’t paid to show up and pose next to guys in ducky pajamas. But Farenthold doesn’t spend all of his time asking random females for hire “if they think he’s thexthy.” Mostly, the notorious alcoholic asks it of the females he hires to work in his own office. And when he’s not doing that, he’s busy owning domain names like
On December 15th, D.C.-based blog Heard on the Hill uncovered that Farenthold is the registered owner of the above-named URL…which we can only assume he bought with the intention of marketing to tromboners. That is, people who play trombones.
A spokesperson for Farenthold’s office told Heard on the Hill he’s owned the domain since 1999, and his ownership f the URL expire in July of 2015:
“Prior to serving in Congress, Mr. Farenthold operated a computer consulting company that routinely bought domain names including the one in question. The domain name has never been used and Mr. Farenthold has no intention to renew it.”
Well, we’d imagine not NOW.
But boy, are there going to be a bunch of raging tromboners come August.
Indeed, Farenthold did get a degree in Radio, Television and Film…which are pretty impressive credentials for a guy whose life ambitions include owning Blow-Me.org. Maybe he’s just an overachiever who loves his work, and not a deliberately desperate perv after all.
Well, except for this:
Right now, Farenholt is being sued by this woman…
…Lauren Greene. A staffer in his office, not to be confused with Lauren Greene of Fox News. Which would be amazing, though it’s probably fair to say she’s not his type. Care to guess what for? No, not stealing her egg sandwiches from the office fridge. Close though. That’s right…
Sexual harassment and discrimination!
Setting aside questions of why any woman working for a Republican these days would balk at anything misogynist, her lawsuit alleges that she was unjustly fired for rebuffing Farenholt, and making him uncomfortable by not returning his (sweaty) sexual advances. The suit alleges, in part that he:
- Told a female co-worker and friend of hers that he’d been having “wet dreams” about her. Presumably, with the intent that it would get back to her and she’d relieve him of his night-stained ducky pajamas.
- Told her it looked like she had a “stain on her dress,” as a reference to Monica Lewinski — who worked for a politician, and once registered a domain name in his office.
- Refused to do anything about another subordinate of his, a man, who derided her position as Communications Director and told her to go home because he could see her nipples.
- Has to have staffers go ahead of him on “redhead patrol” while he’s in Washington D.C., to clear the way of attractive females who he might drunkenly slobber over.
- Enjoys rubbing the underside of his second chin on schoolgirls in elevators, to mark them with the scent of warm Gruyere cheese.
OK, we made that last one up.
But even if we hadn’t, how much would be surprising of Corpus Cristi’s wholesome, Christian, Tea Party representative at this point? By our reckoning, there’s about a 40 percent chance he’s outside your window in a tree right now. No, that’s not a naked, hairless, albino panda bear rubbing margarine into his middle-aged man-nary glands…it’s just Texas’ Blake Farenthold, doing what Blake Farhenthold does.