It’s been about twenty years since Full House was canceled. Candace Cameron Bure, who many may remember as the beloved D.J Tanner, has had a long and happy marriage for seventeen of those twenty. The secret to her success? She lets the man make all the decisions, just like the Bible says!
Recently, little D.J. wrote a book, and in that book was a passage that was met with what can only be described as bewilderment from nearly every direction but “right.” In Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose, Cameron drops some first-century wisdom on us regarding her marriage to NHL player Val Bure:
[box type=”shadow”]”My husband is a natural-born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work.”[/box]
To some, this may seem as though she is saying her husband is domineering and controlling, so she has simply reconciled herself to a meek existence–because it’s easier that way. In fact, so many felt that way that little D.J cleared up any misconceptions on HuffPo Live.
It’s not that her husband is a control freak–it’s that the Bible says that women should be meek servants, valiantly guarding the kitchen from vermin as they pop out heirs and serve the whims of their husband-masters. But caving to her husband’s every demand is not a sign of weakness, she assured HuffPo.
[box type=”shadow”]”The definition I’m using with the word ‘submissive’ is the biblical definition of that. So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And, listen, I love that my man is a leader. I want him to lead and be the head of our family. And those major decisions do fall on him. … It doesn’t mean I don’t voice my opinion. It doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion. I absolutely do, but it is very difficult to have two heads of authority.”[/box]
Wow, that sure clears things up! Based on wisdom passed down by a male-dominated society, she has relegated herself to a minor position in her relationship–perfectly willing to forego any actual influence…but at least she has a few thoughts occasionally, right? Cameron has previously defended her position on marriage by citing scripture that supports a male-dominated household,
[box type=”shadow”]”First Peter 3:1 says, ‘In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.'”[/box]
As further support for her position that women exist only to serve their masculine overlords, she cited (of all things) military power structures and the President of the United States himself (there’s only one of HIM, after all.) She says that two people competing for power does not work–and she’s right. However, she seems to completely ignore the possibility of an equal partnership.
When asked if she would allow her husband make the final decision, “even at the detriment of [her] family,” Cameron responded with an enthusiastic “Absolutely!”
There is a darker side to this, as well. Since she is a public figure who is encouraging women to adopt the viewpoint that whatever the man decides is right for them, she may inadvertently encourage some women to remain in abusive relationships. We certainly hope most women do not take her words to heart.
Watch Candace set women back thousands of years below: