Conservatives waged war on the Dictionary–and won. Yes, you read this correctly. Just like when they discovered that the Thesaurus listed “right-winger” as a synonym for “obstructionist,” our friends on the extreme right lost their ever-loving minds!
The issue arose when dictionary.com received a rare visit from a right-winger who chose to bravely venture into the liberal propaganda mechanism known as “reading.” Unfortunately, when that happened, said conservative stumbled upon the dictionary page for “home-school,” which included a number of hilarious example sentences:
“If you want to keep your kids from reality and turn them into mindless automaton copies of yourself, homeschool them.”
“If you wish to teach your children such nonsense, then homeschool where lame propaganda can remain unchallenged.”
- “If she can’t find anyone willing to validate her helicopter parenting, she’ll homeschool.”
Cue the outrage. Conservatives banded together and waged war on sentences intended to demonstrate the meaning of the word until editors were bullied into changing the information to please right-wingers. Numerous publications, including Twitchy, WorldNetDaily, and TownHall.com got in on the push to edit information they did not like–as well as numerous conservatives on social media who were not otherwise busy complaining that Robin Williams gets more press than their Benghazi conspiracy theories.
“Thank you for bringing this to our attention,” Dictionary.com told conspiracy-spewing lie-rag WorldNetDaily. “We value the homeschooling community and education in all forms. These example sentences have been removed because they do not meet our editorial standards. Our 1,605,969 example sentences have been pulled programmatically from reputable publications online over the course of the last ten years, and our lexicographers are constantly reviewing them to ensure that our site is a reference source of the highest quality. As a small team, we appreciate you bringing this issue to our attention so that we could quickly fix this situation.”
The sentences were changed to generic, uninformative examples for the term.
- “The kits are also available through school and homeschool suppliers, and toy and gift catalogs.”
- ” So this year, along with our other homeschool subjects, we’ve been doing a unit on food.”
While not all home school parents are as portrayed in the original example sentences, there are some fairly crazy examples. For instance, a homeschool couple recently lost a lawsuit in the state of Texas when they fought for the right to not educate their children because Jesus was coming back to rapture them all to Heaven.
Then there’s this horrifying example, courtesy of Jesus Camp.
While home schooling can be great, if done right, many students are deprived of very basic information. Oftentimes, ideology takes precedence over education, despite regulations intended to ensure otherwise. In other words, the original sentences were fine. If conservatives want them to stop being true, they should fight for stronger regulation of home schooling that will take advantage of the numerous benefits of educating a child at home while still ensuring that the parents are not doing their precious little snowflakes a disservice by keeping them safely away from the world as they learn the Earth is 10,000 years old and White Jesus rode a dinosaur to Chick-Fil-A as he mowed down liberals with his AK-47.