Media Matters for America reports that the font of insanity, the tabloid for the terminally stupid, the one, the only (thank God),
WhirledNutDiarrhea WorldNewsDaily is using Robin William’s suicide to sell DVDs about celebrities using “demonic powers” to gain stardom.
I imagine the thought process works like this:
Step 1: Accuse Celebrity of “demonic pact”
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit
The underpants gnomes would be proud (those of you who’ve never seen this meme can click here, it’s a link to Know Your Meme).
On August 14, WND shared an excerpt from an opinion piece pinned by one Joe Schimmel, who argues that Williams used the help of “demonic powers” to “aide him on stage,” but as all such Faustian bargains go, these “insidious forces” eventually “drove him to suicide.” Schimmel, using mind reading powers bequeathed unto him by God, claims that Williams “acknowledged that he had opened himself up to the transformative demonic powers that aided him on stage,” and without those powers, “it is likely that you would never have heard of Robin Williams and many other famous celebrities.”
Everybody is currently talking about Robin Williams and his tragic suicide. Many are puzzled as to how a man, who made so many people laugh, could be so depressed that he would violently end his life. What people are not learning is the deeper truth about the insidious forces that tormented Robin Williams and drove him to suicide.
Robin Williams acknowledged that he had opened himself up to transformative demonic powers that aided him on stage. Without the aid of such demonic powers, it is likely that you would have never have heard of Robin Williams and many other famous celebrities. Williams also recognized that these powers had manifested a very evil influence on stage and that there could be a hefty price to pay for their assistance.
Look, Schimmel, if you’re jealous of talent, then you’re jealous. Just admit it and move on.
I wonder if WND would be publishing this if Schimmel was accusing a conservative celebrity, like, say, Chuck Norris, of making demonic pacts to achieve fame. Feel free to insert your own Chuck Norris joke here, since everyone knows that’s all he is.
The end of the excerpt features a link to WND’s website store, with the text, “Is Satan using music to corrupt our youth? See Joe Schimmel’s shocking three-hour video: ‘They Sold Their Souls For Rock’n’Roll.'” Verily, a Titanic among church sermons. And for the “discount price” of $15.95, readers can purchase the “3 Hour Version” of Schimmel’s movie, which argues “how Satan has been effectively using popular music to undermine God’s plan for the family and ultimately heralding the coming of the antichrist and his kingdom on Earth.”
This “3 hour version” is condensed, by the way. The original movie was 10 hours long.
Schimmel, who’s name reminds me of the Yiddish “schlemiel,” spends a great deal of time locked in the 195os, preaching that “Rock’n’Roll” is the “tool of the devil.” For those interested, I found yet another video of him doing just that, this one an hour and forty-nine minutes long, all for your viewing pleasure. I’m sure it’s one of his shorter productions.
WND pedals crass, exploitative paranoia to its nutty Christian audience like the aggressive suburban drug dealer pedaled drugs to hapless white children in crappy 80s anti-drug PSAs. In the past, they’ve sold products claiming that President Obama’s birth certificate was a fake, Harry Potter is “witchcraft,” and that John “Lennon may well have sold his soul to the devil and the assassination was merely Satan collecting his due.”
They learned a long time ago that you can’t spell “crass” without a$$ (add extra dollar signs as necessary).