HomeBreaking NewsBreaking: US Sailor Sends Rape Threats to Future Female Sailors Online

Breaking: US Sailor Sends Rape Threats to Future Female Sailors Online

Ashley, a young American woman, decided that she wanted to join the US Navy in 2014. Making such a choice is no small decision. For the next 8 years you place the Department of Defense in charge of your life decisions. That is true even if you only sign a 4 year contract, because the second 4 years you are obligated to inactive service where you must attend muster at a minimum of once a year and then don the uniform again should the military deem you necessary to the mission, despite what may be going on in your life.

That is the sacrifice that Ashley, among a small amount of other citizens in the nation, had decided was for her. So she began doing what any potential recruit would do – getting in shape so that she could pass the physical requirements necessary for basic training. Like any person who trains athletically she was proud of her accomplishments and decided to post a picture on instagram to show what all her hard work had accomplished.

 photo 96a42aaf-b1d0-44ec-bcbc-711cbc599d77_zpsa13e58ba.jpg

The photo was shared on the facebook page for her local Delayed Entry Program – someone enters the DEP when they have signed the contract but still have to wait an appointed amount of time to enter basic training due to the job they picked, when the schoolhouse is picking up, or just when the recruiter needs to make a quote – which really should have not been a big issue at all.



An active duty sailor threatened to rape her for posting a picture of herself in workout attire. Nicholas Lord is a nuclear electrician in the US Navy, stationed in Washington State – possibly aboard the USS Nimitz. Nicholas is married and apparently his wife also has no problem with him making random rape threats – as she liked his explanation that he posted on his facebook page explaining that he was “just trolling feminist pages.” That’s funny! I don’t recall the Delayed Entry Program being an advocate for anything other than joining the military.

Screenshot 2014-07-08 at 3.28.43 PM

It is no secret the US Military has a huge problem with rape and sexual assault, with the number of sexual assaults in the military hovering around 20,000 annually but only about 4,000 or so reported each year. It’s not just women that are the recipients of these rapes and sexual assaults as 53-56% of the victims are men, the percentage varies depending on the year and the study. This is another glaring example of the problem that the military has and must continue to address.

Fortunately, the outcry from other service members against Mr. Lord was overwhelming condemnation. Many of them researched who he was, where he was stationed, what chain of command he fell under, and within a few short hours after the comment Naval Criminal Investigation Service (NCIS), his chain of command, the Sexual Assault Prevention & Response Coordinator (SAPR), and the HQ and higher levels of the Navy were all notified. The official response from the US Navy is that they are “investigating.”


Depending upon how far the investigation reaches it is unlikely we will know the outcome of this investigation. Since this may not warrant a court martial, depending upon the Commander  – as it is his discretion on the matter, this may only result in a Non-Judicial Punishment (NJP). Non-Judicial Punishment is an internal punishment not available for public record.

This does not mean that the NJP is a weak punishment. He may spend up to 60 days on restriction, get a reduction in rank, and  lose half pay for 2 months; or receive 45 days restriction, 45 days extra punitive duty, reduction in rank, and 2 months half pay. Those are the two harshest scenarios he will be facing under NJP. However, that doesn’t mean an NJP will be that severe. They could NJP the Sailor while waiving all the punishments – so that the NJP remains on his record, but he has to serve no time for any of his actions. It all depends upon the Commander.

If he is Court Martialed then all the aspects of the case will be available for public record.

The question is – what punishment does someone who threatens rape in an environment like the military deserve? What precedent does this set? Especially when it’s to a current civilian who is about to join the same branch of service that he is in.


Yes, Ashley, I agree with you. What this man did is not representative of all in uniform. A parade of uniformed personnel stood up and found every legal means possible to report him for his actions. Let’s hope that corrective action is taken.

h/t Women of the War on Terror Statue FB

About Paul Loebe

Paul Loebe
Paul Loebe is a Contributing Editor at Americans Against the Tea Party and also works as the Special Projects Manager at the Military Religious Freedom Foundation. He is the former Military Director at American Atheists and has had his writings published in American Atheists Magazine, Secularite Magazine, Freethoughtblogs, Daily Kos, and Patheos.
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  • LeAnn Murphy

    He and his wife also have to live here in Everett or the surrounding area. We “locals” can also make this a very miserable place to live for them. I know I’m going to be spreading their photos and names around as people to whom our businesses should refuse service.

  • Captain Awesome

    First, let me preface this by saying that what he said was awful. He is a horrible human being. And no woman deserves to live in fear of being raped.

    However, that being said, I am going to play Devil’s Advocate here for a minute. (Please don’t hate me)

    What did he do that was illegal? He made a horrible statement online. Is that illegal? He didn’t actually rape anyone. Nor did he actually directly threaten her (Saying “I would” is not a direct threat). He has a right to free speech, no matter what kind of speech. And because of the first amendment, he CANNOT face criminal prosecution of it (a court martial).

    I agree that he should face some sort of punishment for what he did. But people calling for actual legal actions are overreacting.

    This will be my only comment on this as I am not going to respond to the (probably) awful replies I will get from people for challenging their views.

    • Bingo

      You give up a lot of your rights when you join the force, including free speech.

  • LeAnn Murphy

    As a resident of Everett, living due east of the base and crossing paths with Naval personnel every day, I have to say that this service member is exactly the kind of individual that makes Everett a dangerous place for women. Last report I saw, our local rape statistics were much higher than national, state, and regional stats. I would not at all be surprised to hear that this POS is responsible for any number of unsolved rapes and assaults in North Everet and Marysville neighborhoods. I’m going to book mark his photo so that I can have the bartenders grab the bat if he ever enters one on the local establishments while I’m there. We don’t want his kind of Navy around here. And that includes his navy wife.

  • John Matteson

    Jessica, women weren’t the only people to game the system to get out of deployments and patrols. I was in the Submarine service and for a long while men in top rates, not just nukes, would re-enlist, get their high end SRB (selective re-enlistment bonus) and then tell the Chief of the Boat they liked to get hot and sweaty with other guys, or would flunk those “surprise” unit sweep drug tests and out they go, 35,000 USD bonus check in one hand and Honorable Discharge in the other.

    And yes, there was a lot of anger towards women while I was in. Justified? I guess it depends on which side of the gender divide you were on. I will preface this by saying that I was in during the time that rates that were formally closed to women were opened up to all (including Nuclear power). Women were allowed on non-combatant ships (oilers, tenders, fast supply ships, etc) and only towards the end of my enlistment, were women allowed on all ships. Between those two times, the sea/shore rotations for men in some rates were way longer than for women. Some men would spend 60 months at sea, that was their entire enlistment, while in some rates, women would spend as little as 18 months on sea duty.

    And as you pointed out, ships that had women on board, routinely put to sea for port changes, cruises, etc. well below manning levels. Six months before the USS Canopus did a port change, it was at 95+ percent of manning (no ship is ever 100% because of gapped rotations). The day it put to sea, it was near 80% manned, with the majority of people leaving the ship pregnant women.

    Now, while this is a cause for resentment by some men of women in the Navy, it in no way justifies sexual harassment, assault, or rape threats like the idiot in the news story. Personally, I hope the XOI shows enough evidence to prosecute the twit, not at Captain’s Mast, but at a full blown General Courts Martial and he ends up with time in Leavenworth and a BCD.

  • muttkat1 .

    This is what happens when you spare the rod, spoil the child. Only the govt can beat you and torture you. Thats OK.

  • Pickles

    So Nicholas, er I mean Mike. Chill out! It’s always comical to watch the asshats go into full hysteria on an internet message board. HA HA

  • Pickles

    I am sorry that happened to you, Marie. Have you filed a claim for military sexual trauma and have you sought out treatment with the VA? Please call your local VA Regional Office and ask to speak with the Military Sexual Trauma Representative. They will help you file a disability claim and obtain the benefits you deserve. 1-800-827-1000

  • Pickles

    I work for the VA and see the aftermath of sexual trauma in both men and woman. It is disturbing. I truly hope that this guy gets tossed out on his ass with a bad discharge. I am even more disgusted that his wife thinks this is okay.

  • DeaDGoDXIV

    Someone in the armed forces is held to a higher standard than someone just employed at Joe Blow’s Fast Food. Couple that with the fact that rape is often unreported and underpunished in the military and you get something that looks no better than the supposed “enemy”

  • kurtsteinbach

    He’ll probably gone by the time you get there….

  • kurtsteinbach

    I went to Boot Camp at RTC Orlando, FL because 1/2 my “A” School (ET) was there. Part 2 of A School was in Great Mistakes outside of Chicago on Lake Michigan. I learned to sail there. They’ve combined the two halves of A school in one place, but there are still many stories of men and women “getting it on” at RTC Orlando. I thought they could solve it by making each barracks building segregated by sex, then no one could through the vents and ducts to one another’s barracks bathroom. And yes, I agree about “A” and even “C” school bases being F*ck Fest places, at least it sounded that way. It made doing watch rounds interesting at times….

  • http://www.holdingontothemagic.com Niki

    You are what’s wrong with this culture. Congrats.

  • bardgal

    How about a DISHONORABLE discharge, and a ZERO TOLERANCE policy?

  • chefrubio

    Care to back up those “facts”? I worked in a military hospital which was about 70% female staff… 66% of them did not fall into that category.

    Plus, unwanted sexual attention is pretty ambiguous… that could be as much as someone asking them on a date or propositioning them and getting rejected. 27% of the women in the military are definitely not rape survivors. More than 1 in 4 women is a ridiculous rate…

    • Pickles

      You are spreading a lot of misinformation in this thread. I see numerous cases in my everyday work duties and I can assure you that nearly each and every person (male and female) who have been diagnosed with PTSD due to sexual trauma and verified stressors, state that they never reported the rape or sexual abuse. I don’t know where you get your “evidence” to suppot the things you are saying, but you are flat out wrong.

  • J. Fischer

    One reason some jerkwads make asshole comments is because of that tiny percentage of immature girls who didn’t want to do their jobs.

  • katgal1232

    such a man

  • voice_reason

    people get fired for being stupid, not necessarily doing the wrong thing…this dumb ass did both, he should be drummed out of the military, no ifs ands or buts

  • jessica

    Thanks, too.all the responses, it is good to feel like people hear me.

  • yellowrose45

    When I was raped by the VA physician, I was vomiting in between phases of being passed out from a toxic mixture of medication that HE controlled!!!

  • yellowrose45

    Jessica, I got out as an ET3 in 1984, due to a service-incurred injury. Women couldn’t get nuke training. I’m very glad that you could, and you qualified. Thanks for your insight.

  • http://www.suckonthis.com cpob1688

    Wowww… “Hey, foot? Meet mouth. Mouth? Foot.” I wonder if she could kick his ass bare-knuckled? Or perform his duties better than he can?

  • MistressTime

    This is not a joke. It is a threat. It is time for the jokers to go to jail to think about their sense of humor. When will people understand free speech does not give anyone the right to threaten anyone. It is time to show all these “jokers” where free speech ends and threats begin.

  • J. Fischer

    Those immature children who had babies to get out now regret that decision. I have no doubt they now resent their offspring and give them the most basic care. Those poor kids will be unable to live in the world.

  • Professa Ayoluwa X Alexander

    Is a damn shame people like this wanna be rapist serve,and that their women would defend them… three generations of army here. Proud of the few who stood up for this woman but it’s only a dent of the crap gong down in the military. She was lucky this happened before she was in so it will heighten the security around her specifically as a soldier but for too many, once you’re in you’re a pawn and you don’t have the backing to get your equals or your superior reprimanded for inappropriate comments or sexuality assaulting you. Most of the time you’ll get blamed for it. She won’t ever be able to get support for a pic like that once she’s in uniform and now that it’s out… hope she’s a tough one

  • saijanai

    IT goes both ways: don’t have sex while drunk, either.

    • kurtsteinbach

      I’ve been wanting to ask this, and maybe it doesn’t have an answer. What if he is drunk, and she is drunk, and they hook up at the bar. What if they go home together and have sex. Neither could “consent” because both were drunk, even though both were over 21. Neither drugged the other. Both wake up the next day; go their separate ways, and one of them cries rape. Was it rape? And does it matter or should it matter which one of them cries rape? We all do things while intoxicated that we wouldn’t do sober. This guy, Nick Lord should get OIC’s Mast, CO’s Mast, and should even be referred for Court Martial for his statement and threat to a DEP sailor. It is sexual harassment, conduct unbecoming, and conduct embarrassing to the Navy, the Military, the U.S., and his command. I see at least the maximum NJP punishment in his future (restriction, extra duty, loss of rank, and loss of pay). I see a LTH or OTH discharge in his futre, too. I also see him never making Chief (E-7) and being forbidden from or being asked to not reenlist at the end of his current enlistment period. The Navy and the U.S. military do not need embarrassing, unfit cretins like him. If he was drunk, he could have just apologized upon sobering up, but he doubled down instead. He is done….

      • Laurie Neufeld

        As saijanai said: it goes both ways: don’t have sex while drunk.

  • Gary Morrison

    Hang in there Ashley. Not all sailors are like that! HM3 Gary Morrison, USN (Ret)

  • RendarSelin

    Best of luck to you! Three pieces of advice I have:
    1.) Be ready to study! The training pipeline, if you’re good, will be voluntary study hours (but those on vols usually put in at least 20 extra study hours a week). And in the fleet, you will be putting in extra hours to qualify as fast as you can, for your monthly level-of-knowledge exams, and for yearly ORSE exams (Operational Reactor Safeguard Examinations). And, especially on a sub, not only will you need to know your rate (EM, ET, MM), you will need to know the other guys’ rates as well. Rating is a lie – you do it all (especially on a sub – and especially when you earn your dolphins (SS pin). You do not want to be the DINQ (delinquent in qualifications) in the department – believe me, I know.
    2.) Don’t be the guy that skates off and avoids work – when you live with people 6 months out of a year on deployment, you want to do your best to stay on people’s good sides. Skating off while everyone else is doing emergency maintenance – never a good idea.
    3.) Be ready for broken promises from the Navy, especially when it’s regarding a “promised” duty station, port visits, or liberty time. Until it’s in your hand in writing, it’s not guaranteed (and not even then). You’ll get used to the words “Needs of the Navy” very quick.

    Just keep your BS tolerance high, work hard, and, when you get the off chance, enjoy your you time. I was on a carrier 4 years, did 2 deployments and 1 mini deployment. It’s not an easy job choice, but stick with it. Welcome to the Nuke field!

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  • J. Fischer

    I was in the Navy at the end of the ‘automatic discharge for pregnancy’ era. Even heard one ‘woman’ talk about getting pregnant so she could get out early.

    Truly, I don’t think any of those idiots misusing pregnancy comprehended the results of their decision. They were entering into a minimum of 18 years of servitude to avoid another few years of enlistment, or a few months at sea, or to actually do the jobs they signed for.

    They made it worse for those of us who either toughed it out and left, or tried to make a career.

    • yellowrose45

      J. Fischer, I’ve got something even worse to tell you about. I was on staff at Transient Personnel Unit, Great Lakes in 1983-84. I handled a lot of discharge papers, and I knew of several females who lied about being lesbians (they had to write a letter detailing names/dates/places) to get out. One of them, I even knew exactly who she was about to move to Florida to live with, immediately after discharge, and he wasn’t female! What a horrible legacy.

  • Laurie Neufeld

    Mikey… ummmm, this site is called AATTP. Just thought you might want to know.

  • Laurie Neufeld

    Apologizing for somebody who threatens rape, and then sticks by that threat? “But he is not an evil person.” Really? What have you been drinking, BTW?

  • Laurie Neufeld

    Ah, yes. The rape apologist has “inside information”. Boy, Mike. Keep digging, mmmmm’kay? Soon that hole will be deep enough that you and your buddy can’t be heard.

  • Fairuse

    Nice Apologist Manifesto.
    Also, learn to use Paragraphs.

  • kurtsteinbach

    Medically speaking, an epidemic exists if 1 in 10 (10%) percent of the population has something. Well, an estimated 20% to 33% (between 1 in 5 and 1 in 3) people inside or outside of the military, both male and female, it is estimated will be a victim of sexual assault at some time in their lives. Statistically, someone is still raped approximately every 11 minutes. So, I agree, rape long ago reached epidemic proportions in society, on college campuses, and in the military….

  • Arthur Alva

    Women do not belong in the forces why cause of this maybe an office job or nurse like it should being a King it’s a man job I don’t send my Knights women to war only men if a women got caught just think what the enemy would do to her gang rape then death it would be all our faults of her death why it takes a women to do a man job in war hell no as far as the raper sayer he should be hung why to even think this of our own to do this Act is death King Arthur

    • Paul Loebe

      You are a misogynist douchebag.

  • Paul Loebe

    Have you ever read the Manual for Courts Martial? Do you even know what you are talking about? You bring discredit upon the “sea lawyer” that thinks he knows what he’s talking about.

  • Paul Loebe

    That takes it too far. No one deserves to be raped. Please refrain from saying such things again.

  • Guest

    I’m a Marine Staff Sergeant with years of experience in military punishment. Get YOUR facts straight!

  • Paul Loebe

    That charge only applies to commissioned officers. He is subject to articles 117, 92, and 134 however.

  • kurtsteinbach

    Even the DoD no longer buys your BS, medieval vision of Blanket Parties and Code Reds. Way to advocate for barbarism, just like Nick Lord. He advocates rape for a future female soldier, and you advocate another outdated, ancient punishment as well. So you advocate dealing with a crime by committing another crime. If you ever were in the military, I’d say I hope you enjoy your Court Martial because Code Reds and Blanket Parties are Court Martial offenses. They were when I was in the Navy, and they still are now. Mazel Tov ship mate, you would make us all blind and toothless….

  • Paul Loebe

    Participation in the Annual IRR Screening (Muster Duty) is mandatory by Title 10, United States Code (U.S.C.) Section 12319.

    That goes for all branches of the military: Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. They typically require at least 60% of total forces to comply.

    I also don’t know how you got 6 years, but you are the exception to the rule.

    Please, get your facts straight.

    • kurtsteinbach

      I was in the Navy, and most enlistments are 4 years active duty. Some are 6 years. For a Nuke ET, it is 6 years active duty because of the extensive training involved. Currently, you are correct Paul, it years active duty + reserves + IRR almost always equals 8 years, unless there is something in the contract, or some special arrangement. I haven’t heard of it, but I suppose it’s possible. This is the standard arrangement for enlisted personnel. When someone re-enlists after 2, 4, pr 6 years, their active duty commitment will usually overlap with their IRR time. People who do re-up usually never are in the IRR, and many people who just do their enlistment period also never actually deal with the IRR. I never did. I was in during the 1st Gulf War Era, so my IRR period ended before 2001. It was after 9/11 that we began extending enlistment periods and calling up reservists for the first time since Vietnam. It also brought changes to the terms of the IRR and the 8 year contract, at least some changes are or may be in the works. I don’t know because I take scuttlebutt with a big grain of salt. I do know that I am now old enough that IRR and Selective Service no longer apply to me, and I am not eligible….

  • Paul Loebe

    Thank you!

  • Joshua Paul Hawkins

    What a deplorable human being.

  • chefrubio

    1) I never once said rape does not happen in the military. I just stated that the ratio is not that far off from the general population, meaning it is not an “epidemic”. Rape is always wrong and everything should be done to prevent it, but if the percentage is close to the general population’s, it is not at “epidemic” levels.

    2) There are two enlistment options, 4 and 6 years. If you do the 4 year enlistment, you do 4 years in IRR. If you do 6 years, you do 2 years in the IRR. The total commitment is 8 years either way.

    3) I have no idea why you’re explaining the difference between the IRR and Reserves. I never brought either of them up. I know what they are (I’m currently in the IRR).

  • chefrubio

    No, but I was the guy who brought medical supplies, so I know how many were going out.

    • Pickles

      You are one guy with the experience of one guy. Your comments are based on nothing but your own, one person experience. I work for the VA and personally handle approximately 5 new sexual truama cases per week. Nearly all of them were no reported in the military. There are about 200 other employees my office who do the same and most likely see the amount of cases that I see. We are only ONE of the dozens of VA regional offices around the country. The VA Medical Centers see even more. I also see the reports of how many sexual trauma victims are using the system. There are many more who have never filed a disability claim. In other words, I will put my experience up against your experience buying medical supplies and tell you that you are wrong. It is most definitely epidemic and to say otherwise just shows your ignorance and that you are pulling “facts” from your arse.

  • http://www.cnn.com/ Thomas Henley’s Head


  • chefrubio

    It is not rape if you drink and have sex… sorry. Otherwise I would have raped my wife many times over.

    • chilegirl

      So, for you it’s different, and special.
      Your comments make me very happy that I don’t know you.

    • kurtsteinbach

      So sorry, but according to every criminal, legal authority, yes it is rape. Your wife just did not report it. Sexual assault is not a matter of belief, it is a matter of the law. Belief only matters in the reporting.

      • chefrubio

        Not every law is grounded in common sense. If it’s rape, 95% of people (excluding those that don’t drink or are celibate) on Earth are guilty of rape.

  • Lisa Sanders

    I hope an example is made of this pathetic excuse of a “naval officer” and the disgrace he has caused leads to him being courtmartialed. it may sound severe, but how severe would it be if he DID rape this girl, or any other woman for that matter and they ignored his “joke”. i truly think an example needs to be made of this man. Court Martial him!

  • Tim Hamilton

    they are released but no name is given

  • Mr_Bob_Colorado

    HM3, I would not believe it unless I heard it from official sources that the guy is an E7 (a term we use to describe a bad CPO).I looked below and did not see the comment you were talking about I don’t believe stuff in comments unless it has a link from a good source. If you have a link that states his rank please provide. My guess would be E4 or below. (no offense)

  • Scott Orr

    Actually, He is. i confirmed this,myself, and spoke to his Master Chief on the phone… and this happened the day before yesterday

  • RealityBass

    No. You’re ignoring the comments he made after he had sobered up and seen the reactions his comments had elicited. “Super awesome” and “good times” were how he described the situation. You cannot attribute this to a momentary lapse of drunkenness. This is a person who has problems with feminists, and his response is to fantasize about raping them and threatens to do so publicly. It is impossible to believe that this is as isolated incident.

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  • bobbolduc

    He’s a disgrace to the US Navy, & to the human race too. As a veteran of the US Navy & US Army, I salute that young woman for her future service.

  • Joseph Moore

    And I respond to someone posting “Make money at home” spam a “hacked fag” and get banned within hours.

  • Valk-Orion Yoder

    Very good indeed sir. The young female heroes of this nation need a voice as often as they can get it.

  • Valk-Orion Yoder

    Oh its ok Kurt I understand that what makes up a tight bonded team is lost on you but we military know how to ensure justice is served where the chain of command fails.

  • freelance5534

    He can be punished for slander maybe. He could be given reduction in rank and/or loss of pay. They can file a page 11 for violating rules under the UCMJ. However, he can’t be court martialed unless he actually did the act. The only way he can be punished is if she files a civil suit. In this case, he can face charges through court but she would need to act fast. Once he has been punished, she can’t file a suit for the same thing he’s been punished for. That’s considered double jeopardy and that is to protect service members even for a sleeze bucket like that. Sadly even the accuse has rights and he can hire a JAG lawyer or civilian lawyer to protect him.

  • al

    hearings don’t mean listenings.

  • al

    bet his wife is real proud of his trolling now.

  • kurtsteinbach

    People, moms and dads need to teach their sons, nephews, and grandsons to respect others. Treat others the way the want to be treated, with dignity and respect! It takes empathy! Then sexual assault and bullying in all forms will stop!

  • Laurie Neufeld

    So, you’ve met every single person in every branch of the military? Wow, impressive.

  • kurtsteinbach

    Good luck in your future career. I’d say I hope you never have to deal with this in your upcoming career, but I know you will have to deal with it. If not as a victim, then as the friend of a victim. The moving of sexual assault out of the normal chain of command will hopefully happen during your tenure in the Navy. Anchors aweigh, and fair winds and following seas….

  • kurtsteinbach

    Yes means Yes. Anything else, including no response means not yes. In other words, no means no. Yes means yes, and anything in between yes and no should be taken as, NOT YES!

  • Paul Loebe


  • chefrubio

    Look, I’m not trying to be rude, but I’ve actually been in the military and seen these things first hand. Also if you look at studies that compare apples to apples (i.e. ones that compare age group to age group), the rate is LOWER in the military than the civilian counterparts.

    You can say it is because they’re not getting reported, but they don’t get reported a lot on the civilian side either… especially on college campuses.

    The military is not a big revolving wheel of rape like the media portrays it to be. Sorry to burst your bubble.

    • Kristin Maze Carnes

      I knew more people raped in my less than 6 years in the military than I have in the other 26 years of my civilian life… Perhaps you are just lucky enough that you haven’t known anyone that has been sexually assaulted… Unless they haven’t told you because of your reaction here

      • chefrubio

        I didn’t need anyone to tell me. I was in medical supply, so I was the one who actually supplied and delivered rape kits, so I know how many were going out. They weren’t ordered often, so it was something out of the ordinary if one was ever ordered to replace one that was used.

        • Michelle Stout

          So you ordered rape kits, and they were not used often, meaning that rapes did not occur often? You do realize that they can only use a rape kit if it is reported, correct? Having been a female in the military, having been sexually assaulted and not reported it, not to mention knowing many other females that were assaulted and did not report it, I would think that we have a little more knowledge than one who ordered the supplies that are only used when an assault is actually reported. They estimate that only 1 in 5 rapes gets reported in the military. So for every 1 that you ordered, 4 went unreported.

        • yellowrose45

          Chef, the real problem is aggregated SEXUAL VIOLENCE. That definitely includes other types of hostile encounters besides rapes, so if there is nothing bodily to collect in a rape kit, that certainly doesn’t mean that your idea of the statistics regarding how “few” assaults there are is exactly correct.

        • LeAnn Murphy

          Do you comprehend that of the few rape victims who go through with reporting, not even all of those get a rape kit run on them? The doctors decide if one will be done. If too much time has passed or if the victim showers, or the rapist wore a condom, or the doctor was being a jack@$$ and didn’t believe them, or any number of other reasons, a rape kit won’t be run. That doesn’t mean there was no rape.

          And even then, way more victims are prevented from reporting through fear, intimidation, abuse of authority, harassment (such as you are demonstrating), lack of access to safe reporting, etc. than not. Only a small fraction ever–EVER IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFETIME–report. And only a small fraction of those have an actual rape kit done.

          As for why visible numbers are higher in colleges than in military, that’s easy. Colleges don’t isolate their students from older family and support systems that could help the victims come forward and go through the process. They don’t control every aspect of the students’ lives. The absolute control over victims’ lives that the military has means that victims are more vulnerable to being silenced and threatened. The abundance of weaponry and potential for “accidents”, including fatal ones, makes threats against their lives more forceful and likely to be carried out. All of this, along with just being able to destroy the entire rest of the victim’s life regardless of the outcome means that it is much harder to report, file, and go through the process in the military as the victim than it is to a college student. Therefore, fewer rape cases make it to the sunlight.

          So yeah. You are an idiot for thinking the number of rape kits you supply is in any way evidence of how many rapes there are. And besides, ever think that maybe they were reporting them to non-military medical personnel?

          • chefrubio

            I never said every rape victim gets a rape kit. I just said that it was a very, VERY rare occasion that I ever resupplied one. I was also a SARC first responder and never got called… ONCE.

            What I am implying is that there’s many people who are presuming that the military is full of men who are sexual deviants, unable to control their physical urges… which couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, there are rapes in the military, but it is far from the norm. That’s the only thing I’ve been advocating. Perhaps you should actually read what I’m writing instead of skimming it and coming to the worst possible conclusion from what I’m saying as you possibly could.

  • chefrubio

    There’s congressional hearings on lots of things… that doesn’t mean guarantee the findings…

  • Guest

    You should probably be studying.

  • 2Smart2bGOP

    That man is a disgrace to his uniform, the Navy and his country. He should be dishonorably discharged.

    • kurtsteinbach

      It’s almost too bad the Navy doesn’t keelhaul people anymore….

  • k monet

    Unfortunately there are way too many people like that disgrace in the military. Females and males need to always always have a battle buddy with them.

  • Laurie Neufeld

    Oh, is there another form of rape that’s not “blatant”? Maybe the “legitimate” kind? Or “she didn’t say no cuz she was passed out, so that’s a yes”?

    • Laurie Neufeld

      skasoulja, since you’ve very bravely canceled the reply function on your angry, vitriolic rage-filled misogynistic post, I will answer here: Your quote: “Everyone I know that is a in a fraternity would never blatantly rape a woman.” So I asked, is there another form of rape that is not blatant? And you have proved, in your reply, that even though the “law says it is,” YOU don’t think it is. So, my goodness. I guess the law is wrong, and you are right? As for blind rage…. no, sweetcheeks, you have that all to yourself.

  • Mike

    What exactly would you charge him with to go to prison? I think he is a POS for his behavior and deserves to be charge with conduct unbecoming but prison time? For talking words, what’s next prison for looking at someone the wrong way, careful with the slippery slope

    • Paul Loebe

      For starters Articles 117, 92, and 134. When I find more I’ll let you know. He’s subject to military law which can and does restrict your speech. Conduct unbecoming is another charge so thank you for that one as well.

      A Marine was kicked out of the Corps for talking trash about the President. I personally witnessed Marines charged for “liking” a facebook page disparaging a non-commissioned officer in my last unit.

      That’s the military.

  • chefrubio

    Sorry, but I’ve been in the military (recently)… there is not an “epidemic” of rape. I believe what I see. Plus, if you do some actual research on the matter, you’ll find out that the numbers aren’t higher than the civilian sector… and they’re much worse in civilian colleges.

    To have accurate comparisons, you have to compare the same age groups as well. Since most of the military population has members under the age of 28, you have to make sure you’re looking at a similar block of civilian population. When you add a civilian population in that has many people over 50 (who have a low rape %), it skews the comparison. You have to compare apples to apples to get a fair comparison.

    The most fair military to civilian comparison is college vs military, where the military is lower.

    • kurtsteinbach

      I am a U.S Navy veteran of the 1st Gulf War Era, and didn’t “see” gays in the military, but I knew they were there, and many of the people who are now some of my best friends are LGB people I met in the military. When people asked me what I thought of gays in the military and should they be allowed in, I always said, “Too late they’re already here. See if you can spot them because they look like everyone else.” They were held to the same standards of conduct, good order, and discipline as everyone else. Unlike this POS, they lived up to those standards spectacularly.

      I also knew there were victims of rape and rapists in the military. I never met the rapists, and I’m glad because when I got through with them, they would have been in sick call, and I would have been seeing the CO for assault. The perpetrators were hard to see, unless one was involved. The chain of command works hard to keep such things quiet. It is so easy to do because of the compartmentalization within the military. The victims of rape, sexual assault, and sexual innuendo and bullying on the other hand were slightly easier to see, but shame and fear of retaliation prevents them from being heard.

      The presumption of innocence has, in the past, lead the military and at colleges the administration, to keep victims quiet while an investigation proceeds during which the victims are automatically presumed to be looking for sympathy and gain, and the perpetrator presumed innocent and not to be disparaged. Just because victims of bullying, sexual assault victims question themselves and why its happening to them. They question themselves, but that should not be taken as license for everyone to question them. We don’t ask the victims of robbery what they did to make the robber steal from them, so why ask the victims of rape, sexual assault, and other forms of bullying the same thing? You may not be able to see the victims, but they are there and here. Maybe we should listen to them….

      • chefrubio

        Last time I checked, we’re supposed to presume innocence until proven otherwise in a court of law… be it military or civilian.

        • George M Melby

          NO! Not when you are called to a higher duty and discipline! You give UP certain rights when you join the military or the government. The military needs to be much more discerning as to who they let in the gates!

        • LeAnn Murphy

          True. So STOP assuming that the rape VICTIM is guilty of lying, perjury, and filing a false report (among other things) until it is PROVEN that they have done so!

          You don’t assume that a mugging victim or another kind of assault victim is lying. Why is it only female rape victims that are assumed guilty and convicted without a trial? Why should a rape victim have to prove she is innocent when the rapist is presumed innocent?

          • chefrubio

            I never said or implied the rape victim was lying. I said that we don’t presume guilt (legally) until facts are proven in a court of law. STOP putting words in my mouth.

          • LeAnn Murphy

            If you are *presuming* that there is no rape when it is reported; if you are *presuming* that the person the victim says raped or sexually assaulted them is innocent, then you have already decided/presumed that the victim is lying in saying that the person raped or sexually assaulted them. You are presuming the victim is guilty of lying and filing a false report, and giving more weight to the person they identify as committing the crime. You don’t get to have it both ways.

            Rape victims have to prove they were raped in order to be believed and a report filed. No one makes a mugging victim prove they were mugged before even filing a report.

          • chefrubio

            Again, you are replying without actually reading my posts… “I” am not presuming anything. We live in a country where everyone has a right to a fair trial when accused of a crime, and they are presumed innocent until proven otherwise in said court of law. The same way a mugging victim tells police of stolen items when they are mugged in order to help PROVE that person mugged them. I can’t just go to the police and accuse you of mugging me and expect them to arrest you. There has to me some physical evidence of you mugging me… Be it physical wounds or bruising, stolen goods, etc,etc.It’s the same way with rape… There has to be evidence of said rape. Accusing someone of it is not enough to make someone guilty of it.

          • LeAnn Murphy

            That’s bs. With rape, there may be no evidence. And lack of evidence to convict doesn’t mean there isn’t a crime of which the person is guilty. Just means they don’t have evidence other than the word of the victim.

            That is the same with a mugger who steals cash and holds a gun on someone. No evidence of it being an armed mugging with X dollars stolen. But authorities believe the victim without assuming they are lying from the start, which is what they do with rape victims.

          • chefrubio

            Well if there’s no evidence, there’s obviously not going to be a conviction. An alleged victim can get all the mental support she needs still, but we can’t arrest, convict, and sentence people when no evidence supports their claims. I’ve had acquaintances who have had false rape accusations brought on them (which the accusers later recanted), and just the accusation ruined their lives. Sorry, but no matter how bad a crime is, if there’s no evidence, the alleged perpetrator will not and cannot be punished. Plus, there’s lots of evidence that could be left behind besides the actual rape evidence that can be used to help support a conviction (witness testimony, bruising consistent with restraint, social media, etc, etc). It is near impossible to pull off a crime (of any kind) and not leave traceable evidence behind. Criminal justice tech is just too good nowadays.

          • LeAnn Murphy

            You are proving my point for me. “Alleged victim.” “Plus, there’s lots of evidence that could be left behind besides the actual rape evidence that can be used to help support a conviction […] It is near impossible to pull off a crime (of any kind) and not leave traceable evidence behind. Criminal justice tech is just too good nowadays.”

            You don’t know what you are talking about. You don’t have any clue about how the majority of rapes occur or how difficult it is to get a report taken, much less evidence collected. Your very words prove that you are assuming the victim is lying. “Alleged victim. ” Going on about “I’ve had acquaintances who have had false rape accusations brought on them o(which the accusers later recanted).”

            You are assuming the allegations were false. The reality of rape reporting is that the majority of the time–like over 80%–the victim is so harassed, abused, degraded, invalidated, and threatened by authorities and others, that they are forced into “recanting” upon threat of being prosecuted themselves. The fact is that around 80% of rape victims who report in the military are involuntarily discharged, regardless of the outcome of the report. If that isn’t a deterrence to going through with the report, then consider the story of a Bellevue woman. She was raped while living in a particular women’s housing facility. When she reported it, she was disbelieved and persecuted for it. She was threatened with imprisonment if she did not recant. Then the subsidized housing facility threatened her with eviction. She was forced to recant, charged with (among other things) filing a false report. They made her participate in offender programs and to deny her rape publicly in order to avoid prison and keep a roof over her head. Privately, she continued to stick to her story. Now, several years later, a serial rapist had been caught and evidence linking him to her “recanted” rape. Last I heard, she is suing those who persecuted her instead of pursuing justice. Look it up.

          • chefrubio

            Yes, that is a legal term… until they are convicted in court, they “allegedly” committed the crime. Whenever people speak of court cases, they always say the “alleged murderer”, “alleged rapist”, “alleged victim”, etc etc.

            I never said the acquaintances I knew that were falsely accused of rape were in the military, so there’s no reason to bring that up. Again, you’re assuming things.

            I also never said that women should be forced to recant. What I did say is that no legal action can be taken against an accused rapist (besides a restraining order perhaps) unless there is concrete evidence. All the more reason to make sure women know that in the horrific case they are raped to go straight to authorities or a medical treatment facility to make sure any evidence left is collected.

            It is also another reason for women to strongly consider getting a conceal carry permit. An armed woman is much less likely to become a victim since she is now, at worst, on an equal playing field with her attacker.

          • LeAnn Murphy

            Ignoring for the moment all the other crap and bromides in your comment. Statistics prove that you are now likely to get shot with your own firearm than you are to be able to actually shoot your assailant. It is also well documented that the majority of rapists are someone the woman knows and, therefore, are unlikely to a) want to shoot, b) be in a situation where she would have her firearm at hand (home, date, family residence, with people she is supposed to be safe around), and c) have the opportunity to even use a firearm if it were at hand. Women do better in assault situations if they are taught how to fight back and escape. Women do better when they have a large dog that is present with them and that will protect them.

            The only really good way to help rape victims is to stop rapists. To teach everyone that unless there is a clear, uncoerced YES by an unimpaired and fully informed partner, the answer is no and it is rape. And to put social pressure on anyone who is a rape apologist, or who shames, harasses, degrades, discounts, or otherwise dismisses victims and their reporting of these crimes with such terms as “alleged.”

            You are the problem.

  • Kimberly B Stone

    Ah. “No true MRA…..” Of course. Certainly.

  • Scott Orr

    i am sorry to hear that,. and nothing i can say will change the immutable fact you lost a daughter.
    love to you and your loved ones, mr Noling

  • Dot

    He should be thrown out of the military with a dishonorable discharge. He dishonored his branch of the service, his wife, and his family. Disgusting.

  • Pablo E. Lopez

    I will never allow either of my daughters to join the military.

    • Laurie Neufeld

      Not your choice, Pablo. How about you work, instead, to make the military a safe place (well, as safe as it can be for a military force) for women and men to get the job done, without having to worry about what their fellow Americans might do to them?

  • http://nobohnsaboutit.com Erin

    This is completely appalling. Thank you to all you reported it. I hope that Nicholas Lord is held appropriately responsible for his “super awesome drunk comments”

  • Free Babysitter

    You only threaten people in person, that way there’s no proof.

  • booksaremyfriends

    I’m not saying he’s MRA, but the MRA are the ones that endorses the idea that feminists are the scourge of society. According to them, feminists are single handedly responsible for the moral decay of our country. Literally every other article on AVFM blames women or feminism for the inequality that men face. People who read those pages don’t see feminists as women or people, they see them as problems to be eliminated by intimidation or worse. This guy said it himself, he thought he was trolling a feminist page. Somewhere he was taught that feminist cause all sorts of problems and are deserving of rape threats.

  • Paul Loebe

    I am so sorry….

    I am at a complete loss of words….

    • Mike

      Ok people this guy is nothing like you say. Like none of you have ever made a bad judgment while drunk he is married and not a rapist or anything that you’re saying. Do I think what he did was wrong absolutely should he be punished yes but people like all of you who just take what the media shows and without knowing this person just assume he is some kind of sexual deviant because he got drunk and made a very inappropriate Comment. As I said it was wrong and it should not have been said it was most definitely wrong but don’t judge because you don’t know what you’re talking about. I can pretty much bet all of you have said something very wrong at one time or another maybe not about rape but something but blowing it up to be bigger then it is does not help he was drunk made a bad judgment on what he posted. He has never been involved with anything like that and never been in trouble so let the people that are in control of this do their jobs and let the rest of us concentrate on getting our country back in order and as I said I’m not saying what he did isn’t wrong and stuff but you people don’t even know the guy and your ready to hang him

      • RealityBass

        No I have never been drunk enough to publicly threaten to rape someone. Never. Defending this guy with this “you don’t know him, he’s not like that’ bs is THE PROBLEM, not the solution.

      • Laurie Neufeld

        And the rape culture apologist shows up. “This guy is nothing like you say.” Do you know him, Mike? Are you in the habit of palling around with him, getting drunk, and then trolling women’s pages to tell them they should be raped?

        • Mike

          Once again you people don’t know him don’t know his record I do know his family and they are good people he made a very stupid mistake he did not or has never been apart of that kind of thing but instead of trying to find out why he did this other then being drunk and I’m not apologizing For him IT WAS WRONG I have a daughter and I would kill a bastard that would do harm to her or any female I’m just saying don’t judge this guy on one ignorant Comment. I believe he should be punished but you people are ready to hang him without even knowing anything about him he’s having a very hard time right now and it’s more of I cry for help.we all know that they are better ways to get help but come on it was a stupid comment and should have never been said but he would never do harm to any female and that I do know .I’m not asking for anyone to be ok with what he did I’m just saying he is not what the media and what you people are posting but it won’t matter anyway because most of you just want to have something to attack so let’s attack this guy who we don’t know for a stupid comment…whatever

      • mornixuur

        I might be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, and say he just screwed up while drunk, but for the fact that when he sobered up, he had a chance to put things right.

        Did he apologize? No, he essentially endorsed his earlier comments.

        So, yes, he deserves everything he gets and more.

        Also. Making excuses for him makes you a defender of a potential rapist. Stay classy.

      • LeAnn Murphy

        Even if, as you say, this was just poor judgment–though no one in their right mind believes that–that still doesn’t excuse one fact. ANYONE with any responsibility whatsoever for special nuclear material CANNOT have such poor judgement. He demonstrated, with his own words over and over again, that he doesn’t have the clear judgement and self-control to be responsible for nuclear anything. He isn’t playing with kool-aid and pixie sticks.

  • Paul Loebe

    Not a tea party jackass. But this story needed to be put out there. I found it and no one was publishing it. I felt obligated.

    • Jessie Canty

      Thank you.

  • Mr_Bob_Colorado

    Once the Chief’s mess at his command was notified of this foolishness, his career in the military was over. We do not tolerate fools. He may stay in, but all enjoyment is gone.

    • kurtsteinbach

      Please don’t tell me this POS was actually made a Chief Petty Officer at some past point in my Navy. That would be a crime and a shame. It would cause me to think we need to seriously reexamine not only who we let into the military, but who we promote….

      • Mr_Bob_Colorado

        I’m no that is not what I meant by that. He probably never made e5.

  • XaurreauX Pont DeLac

    REAL men don’t commit, threaten or joke about rape.

  • Arakiba

    Women need to stop joining the military until the rape epidemic is addressed.

    • Paul Loebe

      I couldn’t disagree with you more.

      The most appropriate thing to do would be to take away the authority of commanders in cases of sexual assault. Give that authority to an outside source – a third party that is professionally trained with handling sexual assaults.

      All the other countries in the world that have done this have seen a drastic decline in the protection, accidental or otherwise, of sexual offenders.

      • Philip Glen Arwood

        Little known fact about military law is that, unlike in civilian courts, military personnel can be subject to “double jeopardy.”

        That is, if a military member is tried in a civilian court, regardless of that courts verdict, they can also be tried in a military court. This is primarily seen in DUI cases, but there are a myriad of other examples, sexual assault being one of them.

        Trying an offender twice is okay in my book, but undermining the authority of a military commander, regardless of the situation, is hardly beneficial to good order and discipline.

        • Paul Loebe

          Commanders aren’t qualified to make judgements in cases of sexual assault. Their pre-conceived biases WILL get in the way.

          Until all commissioned officers are required by law to get a degree in the psychology of sexual trauma you and I will be on different sides of the room in this argument, respectfully.

    • Philip Glen Arwood

      ” It’s not just women that are the recipients of these rapes and sexual assaults as 53-56% of the victims are men,”

      Statistically, they’re safer than us males.

    • Egodram

      No, people need to STOP RAPING EACHOTHER!

  • Steve Cain

    And yet the cons like George Will call “victim mentality”. Makes me sick.

  • mynameisjohn

    If she has any brothers, I say we crowd-fund their round trip to Washington.

    • Valk-Orion Yoder

      Winning. I imagine her shipmates have this handled. Blanket parties are no fun for the recipient.

      • kurtsteinbach

        Way to call for vigilante justice. We’re better than this POS. Let’s not sink to his level by doing something he would do. Let’s try him; convict him; then toss his butt to the wolves in a military prison and throw away the key….

        • Scott Orr

          I agree

  • booksaremyfriends

    Besides being thoroughly disgusted by the fact that I’m associated with the same branch as him I’m also shocked that people believe that feminists are such bad people, that they’re made to feel as if they deserve to be raped.
    I hope the MRA pats itself on the back for this one. Feminists deserve to feel like if they’re raped, they had it coming. F-ing sh*t.

    • RendarSelin

      I’m a former Navy Nuke electrician myself, so I’m definitely feeling what you feel. Us nukes are already a very small minority in the Navy, and the nuke community is definitely infuriated over this piece of work’s comments about raping a fellow sailor/future sailor, especially at a time when rape is a severe issue in the Navy.

    • yellowrose45

      Wow, that is a very kind post!!

  • Laurie Neufeld

    Guy deserves the Big Chicken Dinner. And to be registered as a sex offender. If he’s suggesting it, he may have done it before. Maybe some sailors who have served with him will come forward and press charges?

    • kurtsteinbach

      One of the things that this POS could be charged with, because he posted this on in an open group on Facebook, he could be charged with conduct that brings shame and discredit upon his command (ship), the U.S. Navy, the U.S. Military, the Federal Government, and the United States. He would have to be Court Martialed, it’s required for a Bad Conduct Discharge. An investigation into his past conduct, including if he has done this or committed actual sexual assault before is warranted. I still think we should emulate the other countries around the world who have taken sexual assault out of the hands of the untrained with sexual assault, normal chain of command and placed sexual assault and associated crimes in the hands of specialists such as lawyers and counselors specially trained to handle it. Get this POS out of my military. I am a veteran, and do not want people this inhumane and this stupid defending my freedoms. Guys like this POS were among those who tortured people at Abu Ghraib….

  • Eleanor Earley

    Agree J. Fischer with what you said.

  • Eleanor Earley

    Rape is rape and a crime. What is the Navy going to do with this idiot since he publicly made the threat? Court Martial and prison time seems appropriate.

  • J. Fischer

    Congratulations to all the people who stood up to this jerk. His comment was unprofessional, immature, belittling, and reflective of a mindset that could endanger his shipmates — besides being completely disgusting and unwarranted.

    To those who can’t see why it’s a problem —

    ‘He/I was joking!’ The cry of those who don’t have a sense of humor and/or think it’s funny to degrade others. (They also howl the loudest when they’re the target of similar non-humor.)

    ‘It’s just one guy!’ The cry of those who don’t understand that it’s not just him: it’s all the other men (and some women) who think nothing of making degrading, sexist comments and producing the atmosphere that gives permission for harassment and assault.

    ‘Can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.’ Really? We’re not talking about normal job duties and hazards: we’re talking about threats of violence from a potential co-worker. If one of your co-workers threatened you, would you just ‘take’ it, or would you do something about it?

  • kurtsteinbach

    Rape is an epidemic problem in the U.S.Military, but now we see where they get it…. People are acting all shocked about rape at colleges and in the military. I am a teacher and a veteran, and I am here to tell you that college campuses and the U.S. Military are just as they always have been, microcosms of society. In other words, the military and college campuses are merely reflections of society and what is going on in society. I have never been surprised at the “rape culture” at colleges or on campuses or in the military. These pervasive problems result from a problem in society. Rape is reflected in our media, in our military, and in our colleges because it is pervasive in our society. I said I have never been surprised at it, I am however, disgusted by it.

    Saying, she asked for it or did something to make the bully come after her, pick on her, or beat her up?” What did you do? You don’t need to do anything. Bullies are bullies, and child bullies apparently grow up to be adult bullies. We don’t take bullying seriously in our society. It takes two to tango. NO, IT DOES NOT! You do not ask the victims, “What did you do to get bullied, beat up, or raped?” Bullies don’t need an excuse, and neither do rapists. All they need is a victim, a person who they perceive as weaker. I am a veteran and a teacher, and we need to stop coddling bullies. It is not a phase that they outgrow; it is not a gas, a gag, a prank, or a joke. It is frat boy crap done by overgrown children who still haven’t grown up. Rapists are just bullies who have found another way to degrade another person further. They should be locked up and put away from decent society and decent people, so they cannot infect or hurt anyone ever again. This “sailor” needs to go to Mast and be restricted, lose rank, pay, and be recommended to the CO for further action

    We should not coddle them because they are soldiers or sailors, because they are athletes, because they are poor, or because they may have bright futures. They give up their rights to clean futures when they decided to degrade another human being. What about the futures the victims had planned for themselves? He is just bullies who has found the an act of degradation to inflict, and these rapist-bullies in training are inflicting it on our sons and our daughters, boys and girls, and men and women. It seems college campus and the military have an epidemic problem when it comes to rape and sexual assault. Don’t lock up your daughters folks, teach your sons to respect women instead!

    • Eleanor Earley

      Agree 100%.

    • E.A. Blair

      Amen. I was bullied mercilessly as a child. When I walked home from school, I had to take a different route home every day, sometimes walking blocks out of my way, to avoid being jumped and beaten. The powers that were (school administrators and parish priests) did nothing more than instruct the bullies to “avoid me”. Ha. Ha. In another age, I think I would gladly have taken a gun to school, but that not only was not an option open to me, but also unthinkable at the time. Furthermore, it would have been doing it their way – answering violence with violence. That still does not prevent me from occasionally replaying some of those episodes of my past with markedly different turnouts. Yes, it’s not just the military, colleges or other microcosms – it’s a sign of a sick society where women (and pacifists) have no regard.

      • kurtsteinbach

        I was bullied growing up. I was an independent thinker, a loner, and didn’t go along with the crowd. It made me an easy target. I would get picked on or beat up, and I would get asked by my parents and by my teachers, “What did you say or do to make the bully come after you, pick on you, or beat you up?” What did I do? You don’t need to do anything. Bullies are bullies, and child bullies apparently grow up to be adult bullies. We still don’t take bullying seriously in the world. It takes two to tango. NO, IT DOES NOT! You do not ask the victims, “What did you do to get bullied, beat up, or raped?” Bullies don’t need an excuse, and neither do rapists. All they need is a victim, a person who they perceive as weaker. I am a veteran and a teacher, and we need to stop coddling bullies.

        Give this POS all the NJP he’s got coming, and then give him a Court Martial, so the NJP is on his record. If he feels cocky enough to post this crap and be proud of it, he is far gone enough to take full responsibility for it. Furthermore, if he has been going on MRA websites, he already is recalcitrant and does not see anything wrong with what he said. He gives all sailors and all military personnel, including veterans like me, a bad name. I want the Navy to have it’s good name back, because he just reblackened that eye that has been healing in the modern Navy since Tailhook. Remember that one? I do. I went DEP in 1991, and Tailhook made me want to reconsider. The U.S. military needs to do psychological profiling before admitting people, maybe then we could keep some of these people from victimizing their fellow sailors….

    • chefrubio

      Rape is not an “epidemic” problem in the military. If you do some research on it, the occurrence rate is the same (if slightly lower) than the general population. In fact, in sexual assault cases, the military is much lower than college age students, even when you break it down to similarly aged military members.

      The only reason I would consider rape an “epidemic” in the military is because we’re supposed to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

      Rape and sexual assault are a horrible thing, and it should not be happening anywhere. However, to state that rape is an epidemic in the military is very misleading.

      • Scott Orr

        the incidence rate of Military rape is huge.. the Reporting rate is growing, in the military. it used to be if you were raped, “why did he do it?”
        or “I KNOW HIM.. he’d NEVER do that”.
        or, in MY case:
        “you are a man.. why didn’t you fight him off.. you must have liked it”
        (then started chapter work for being gay)

        • chefrubio

          I do agree that it is unfortunate when military friendships cause people to not be believed when reporting, and that is getting much better as of recent.

          However, there are also opposite cases, like my friend who spent the night with a girl, she initiated a sexual encounter, had control for most of it, and later filed for sexual assault. Because they had been drinking, it was counted as rape, but due to lack of evidence (her word vs his) he was dishonorably discharged… so basically he has bad credit and a crappy reputation for being dishonorably discharged for the rest of his life.

      • Pickles

        I work for the VA, specifically with those who have experienced sexual trauma. Most do not report the rape, but I can assure you that it is epidemic. I do not know the overall number of the veterans who suffer from PTSD due to sexual trauma, but I personally see approximately 5 cases per week, and that is just me.
        To claim that it isn’t epidemic is very misleading.

        • chefrubio

          … and we have 2.7 million people serving in the military at any given time, with many coming and going. That’s like trying to ban “assault” rifles because they scary and that violence committed with them is epidemic, when less than 2% of gun deaths are caused by them.

          Look, I am all for doing everything possible to curb rape and sexual assault. They are always wrong and can no way ever be justified. I am also not saying that rape and sexual assault don’t happen at an alarming rate in the military. However, if we are telling girls that if they go out, have a few drinks, hook up with someone and regret it the next day that they were raped, we’re not addressing the problem. In addition, we’re inflating statistics by doing things like that.

          I just know from my experience of over 4 years in the military, and working in the hospitals with mainly with women (in addition to having friends in the mental health field) that the numbers many of the people are floating around in the comments are vastly inflated.

          • Pickles

            No, it is not anything like banning assualt rifles.

            I have been with the VA for 26 years and counting, working male and female veterans who are suffering from PTSD due to sexual trauma. I stand by my comments that rape and sexual trauma in the military is epidemic. You can form your own opinion based your how many rape kits you gave out, but I will tell you with all certainty that only a very small percent report the attacks. We (at the VA) see not only those who did report, but the much larger percent of those who did not and I can assure you, that number is alarming.

          • chefrubio

            Any number is alarming being that we in the military are supposed to be held to a higher standard than the general population. I am also not saying the military doesn’t need to do more to discourage rape, encourage reporting, and having the support systems readily available for victims.

            I am not saying the rates are not high. I am saying they are not high compared to the general population’s. However, the rate across the board is too high, and I think we’re going about fixing it the wrong way. We just want to blame men. Sexual assault prevention meetings just make guys feel like crap and pretty much tell us we’re all sexual perpetrators. We’re told that if a girl has had ONE beer and we have sex we’re raping a girl and should feel guilty. We don’t want to blame our hypersexualized/hook up society. It seems every tv show has people hooking up, every magazine has ads with half naked men and women, we treat sex like it’s no big deal, everyone’s having it, and I think it’s what people end up expecting when someone shows them interest. We are taught to treat the opposite sex as an object of lust rather than someone to be respected. Sex is a big deal, and we should start treating it as such again.

            Sorry for the long rant.

          • Pickles

            Any number is too high. I can tell you that it isn’t just male on female rape, but female on female and male on male. Someone who makes the sacrifice to serve our country by putting their lives in the line should not have to live with the fear of being raped, but sadly that fear has shown to be a fear of a real threat. No one is blaming just the men, but it is a fact that men, by far, are the biggest perpetrators, so why should the sexual prevention not focus on men? If it makes someone feel like crap, then maybe they need to assess the possibility of being one of the people who are capable of committing assault. If you understand what acts are considered sexual assault and rape and you know that you would never commit such an act, then it should not make you feel like crap. Sex can still be a big deal as long as you understand that no mean no, coersion is rape, using seniority power with job threats is rape, sex with an impaired person is rape. Consentual sex is when two consenting adults agree, without any threats, influence, or impairment, to have sex. This is not rape. It isn’t rocket science.

    • MoiBelle


    • Krista

      Fantastic post! And I agree, it’s culture, though there’s a military culture too which may make things worse there than in the general population. I wish all men understood this issue (and women for that matter) as you do. This is what we need to do to change things… teach people this from a young age, and shift the culture.

    • yellowrose45

      I just want to add one thing– like you, I am a navy vet and have been a college instructor. But, on top of that, I am a survivor of a rape by a VA physician. It took me 28 years to get the VA to let me have a compensation exam for the PTSD, even though only 6 yrs after the fact, I managed to push through an action with the State Board of Medical Examiners where he was licensed, and within 4 months of signing his censure and probation agreement for what he did to me, he got caught and reported for sexually exploiting another patient (this time, he was employed by a different hospital). The VA is just as sickening about its willingness to think of the ruination of a life, when a sexual assault is committed.

  • Kristin Maze Carnes

    My hope is that since this… piece of work… decided to make his disgusting comments public, the Navy will make his punishment equally as public. To show to the public (and future potential recruits) that this kind of behavior is unacceptable and will NOT be swept under the rug

    • Philip Glen Arwood

      NJP’s are kept private because most of them are usually related to military duties and activities. Considering the Navy’s current standing on sexual harassment, assault, and abuse, there’s a very good chance that he will face a courts martial.

      Court Martial results are released monthly in the form of a NAVADMIN (or MARADMIN in the Corps) and generally posted in Navy Times and Military Times.

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