Look out, America! The Aggressively Gay United States Army is coming to get you! At least that’s the story according to right-wing Conservative Christian windbag and Q-Tip stand-in Bryan Fischer. Fischer is the evangelical talk show host that you sometimes see in clips on “The Rachel Maddow Show” when she wants to give you a taste of what the crazies are up to. Fischer’s agenda is extremely anti-gay, and he likes to foretell of the coming doom and demise of America because of our march towards equality in this country. His latest trope is that our army has become overrun with gay super-soldiers.
No, seriously, that’s pretty much what he said.
Fischer, in a long-winded rant on his show, lamented the fact that as he sees it, our armed forces are being inundated with, “hyper masculine homosexuals to come into the military, very similar to the sort of masculine ideal of the Greek warrior.” Now, you could argue from that quote that it would appear Fischer’s been studying the physique of our modern soldiers quite closely. You’d then have to wonder why he’s positive that so many of the soldiers today are in fact homosexuals. Wouldn’t he have to get to know them pretty intimately to know that? Oh, but I digress.
Fischer at the end of the day is just doing what his brand of homophobe does best — gin up fear of the group he hates. When fear hits a high enough level, that’s when hate can be bred. He went on in the segment to tie this influx of Super Gay Super Soldiers — and Vin Diesel action film if I ever heard of one — to the bigger message of the downtrodden Christian in society. “What’s happening now is Christians are being moved out of the United States military so hyper masculine homosexuals can move in,” Fischer later said.
Honestly, how can we take anyone like Fischer seriously? The main thrust of their argument tends to be “the gays are coming to seduce and sleep with us all!’ Otherwise, I can’t figure out why he’d actually care if our army really was made up of only super-fit homosexuals. Then there’s the canard that Christians are “being moved out” of the military. He’s actually implying that the recruiters for the army are standing up at the front of a room, asking people, “Are you gay?” as they walk in. If they answer yes, the recruiter puts the gay recruit on one side of the room, calls out the name of someone already in the army but who’s a Christian. Then he strips the Christian soldier down, hands his uniform to the gay recruit and shouts, “Get outta here, Christian! This army’s for the gays only now! Yay gay!” And then he kisses the Christian soldier on the mouth, immediately infect him with “gay” and Gay God smiles down on Gay Earth while Christian God weeps and brings about the end of the world.
Seriously, that’s about the picture that people like Fischer want to paint. The “gay agenda,” the “liberal agenda,” all they want to do is talk about how much liberals want to change the world we live in, to something they don’t like or recognize. Therefore our agenda becomes the evil one, even though we’re not the ones disenfranchising people from their most basic of rights — to love and commit to any adult they so choose. Of course the Army isn’t recruiting homosexual super soldiers, though again, I’d like to state for the record that the idea at least warrants a spec script, because Vin Diesel needs work.
Either Fischer is Diesel’s agent or he’s just another relic of a dying age. It doesn’t make hearing his dreck any more pleasant, but it helps to have some perspective. You can hear it in his rhetoric — he’s scared. He’s scared that in fact the tireless work of liberals for the last few decades has started to pay dividends. He’s scared that even with a slightly conservative majority in the Supreme Court; his side — the side of intolerance and bigotry — lost both the DOMA and the Prop 8 case. So he’s lashing out, and he will continue to lash out with the rest of his lesser-evolved ilk until they have literally died off, taking their arcane and theocratic hate mongering with them.