To hear Pat Robertson describe the world, it’s a scary place. Demons and evil gods are everywhere. Even in something as benign as yoga classes — especially something as benign as yoga classes.
Concerned parent Susan, worried that her daughter might be having a life and opinions of her own, wrote into Pat Robertson’s show expressing worry. Her family was recently forced to move to Santa Fe, which is a non-Christian cesspool of New Age philosophy: “dream catchers, yoga, veganism, that sort of thing.” She’s worried that her daughter, who’s already started taking yoga classes with a friend, may have fallen prey to demonic influences. According to Susan, “She says it is healthy and will help her flexibility. I worry because it is not based in Christian faith; it is a Hindu practice.”
I love when Christians do this. Do you know what else isn’t based on the Christian faith?
Capitalism! Love of money, wealth, and material belongings are what makes capitalism work. Christ preached against capitalism; he personified the love of money as the demon “Mammon” — thus it should come as no surprise to learn that Mammon means “money” or “wealth,” and by right-wing logic those things are therefore demonic. One more note: at least one translation of “Mammon” suggests it also means “that in which one trusts.” So what’s that we put on our money again?
According to Robertson, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of stretching (he does it all the time; he’s a mental contortionist), but the real danger with Yoga is the “mantra:”
[A]long with yoga, they have a mantra, and the mantra you say is in Hindu . . . You don’t know what the Hindu says, but actually it’s a prayer to a Hindu deity and so it sounds like gibberish. So you’re saying “Kali, Kali, Kali,” but you’re praying to a Hindu deity and you don’t want your daughter in that. Stretching exercise is cool, praying to a Hindu deity is not too cool.
“Hindu,” like most things suggested by Robertson, does indeed sound like gibberish. Hindi, the Indo-European language derived from classical Sanskirt, spoken by about 600 million people worldwide and 180 million people in India, does not (just to be clear, there are little over 300 million people in the United States, so the number of “Hindu” speakers worldwide is roughly two United States’ worth of people).
If “Kali, Kali, Kali” is Robertson’s mental image of a “Hindu prayer,” then methinks that he’s seen Temple of Doom one too many times.
Watch the video below: