“It’s like if the Holocaust had sex with slavery while the last ten minutes of Human Centipede watched!”
The quote above isn’t just a random patchwork of horrifying things slapped together for no reason — it’s just one of the many amazing slams The Daily Show host Jon Stewart bestowed upon cable networks CNBC and Fox Business Channel.
On last night’s edition of Comedy Central’s satirical news and commentary show, Stewart unsheathed his comedic sword and cut wide swaths thorough the hyperbolic over-sympathizing the two financial television channels displayed over the $13 billion fine JPMorgan was just assessed for their role in the economic meltdown that brought this country to its knees.
Stewart was outraged that CNBC and FBC hosts would use terms such as “shakedown and a jihad” to describe the settlement, pointing out that it was not even a surprise to JPMorgan themselves — they’d seen litigation coming and set aside money into a “Rainy Day” fund. As Jon said, “And guess what? It’s raining, motherf**ker!” After hitting the two networks with a barrage of insults about their fawning over the business community, Stewart wrapped up the segment with a triumphant, “F**k all y’all.”
This is about ten minutes well spent. Thanks to Comedy Central for the clips.