Bristol Palin is the closest thing the Right has to American royalty.
Daughter of half-term, half-literate half of the 2008 GOP Presidential ticket, she’s never had to work a day in her life by depending on her merits and ability. Her name recognition has allowed her to embark on a career of public speaking engagements and reality television appearances that, other than grunting out a child out-of-wedlock, possibly two, seems to indicate she’s not really suited for anything other than drawing a crowd of folks who love to watch train wrecks.
You know, Jerry Springer fans.
Recently Bristol took the time to address the CV of one Wendy Davis, champion of women’s issues and gubernatorial candidate in Texas. In what can only be described as the worst effort at trolling I believe I have ever seen, Bristol attempts to preach at Davis for her lack of morality and quality of character. While people are still railing about whether Davis was lying about being separated and not divorced at 19, and at what age she actually lived in a trailer, or simply didn’t think the details were anything anyone would give a crap about, Bristol seems to think she’s just the woman to take on Wendy Davis and fix her moral compass.
Bristol Palin, home-schooled redneck royalty, thinks she can school a Harvard educated attorney.
Bristol wrote on her blog, sarcastically, “Turns out, she lied about much of her ‘pulling herself up by her own bootstraps’ story. Actually, she found a man to marry her, pay her way through college, and then through Harvard Law School. The day after he paid the last bill, she left him. By the way, she left her kids too. She said, ‘it’s not a good time for me right now” to be a parent’.”
Wendy Davis didn’t search far and wide for a sugar daddy. Jeff Davis was a family friend. She went to her father and told him she was interested. Her father told Davis that Wendy would like to go out with him. You make this sound like Wendy was in the lounge of the closest Hilton, trolling for visiting professional business men. Wendy’s father is not a pimp, Bristol.
Yes, her husband contributed to her education. Given that he was in a position to do so, good for him. That’s what married people do. What they do not do is move in with a guy for television ratings.
You don’t get to define marriage or family for anyone, Bristol. If Davis had stayed home with the couple’s children while her husband Jeff chased his dream to Harvard, you would not have said a word. That’s called a double standard, Bristol. There’s nothing wrong with the woman going off to pursue professional goals while the man is the primary caregiver. That you have not been able to snag a guy with as much personal integrity and devotion to you and your son as a family unit, someone to let you experience the freedom to follow your own dreams, is hardly Wendy Davis’s fault. Maybe you’re just unlucky in love. Maybe you just have piss poor taste in men. Maybe no one as smart as Jeff Davis would touch you with a ten-foot mukluk.
By the way, who is watching your children while you’re out on speaking engagements? I’ll take a stab in the dark and say it isn’t baby daddy.
Bristol spewed a little more venom, “Is everyone paying attention? This woman is the hero of the Left? A woman whose ambition and ego were so big she couldn’t have both a career and kids at the same time.”
Yes, we’re paying attention to a woman who understands far better than you do what we women, as a constituency, want. It’s really tragic that your lack of ambition has left you to do nothing more than take the fees offered to you about the one topic you know NOTHING about: abstinence. Even you admitted abstinence is not practical! That’s called fame mongering, Bristol. Incidentally, nobody would even care what you think about abstinence had you PRACTICED it.
Bristol gives up any semblance of affected manners, having been raised by people who possess none. “Gosh, children are sooo inconvenient, huh? I’m glad my mother didn’t put motherhood on the shelf when she was elected to City Council, then became our mayor, then Governor. Oh sorry – I mentioned my mother… Have you liberals gone into a tail spin of hate already? Did I lose you?”
Yes, children are inconvenient, but parents adjust and life goes on. Parents work hard as a team to find ways to support their children – unless they are your meal ticket, but hey, “Life’s A Tripp“. Right? Oh, look. A one-star rating. That’s just sad.
Here’s where Bristol really shines in all her corn-fed glory, a true princess of the deluded right. The envy over Davis having been in a position to have both a career and a family on terms both she and her husband agreed upon is palpable. “I know you would rather think about Wendy Davis, so let’s get back to her. She’s more your type of woman. She left her kid, husband, made it into a false “made-for-tv-movie-type-tale” and then demanded that Texans have the right to kill babies. That’s the woman you libs can really get behind!
Yes, we ‘libs’ can, do, and will support Wendy Davis, for continuing to champion women’s rights, for continuing to set the bar for excellence rather than merely jiggling around a dance floor, for allowing women to decide for themselves what their religious beliefs are and how those personal, private, religious beliefs fit into our health care decisions.
Oh, my, the butthurt is strong with this one. Bristol whines, “Let me be clear. I think it’d be so nice to have a husband take care of me, and my son, so I could attend school. (Any school — let alone, Harvard!)”
If you’d just develop a little better taste in men, and offer up something more as a human being than reality television diaries, you might be able to find a husband that would be devoted to you, but then again, there’s that small problem of you being attracted to rednecks. Ah, well, there you have it.
Harvard would only have you as a way to attract free advertising, Bristol. There is no way you could ever manage to earn your way in, as Wendy Davis, your intellectual superior, did. Get your momma to go get some of that fine cash from ALEC for your tuition. That will be the only way you’ll ever see the inside of an Ivy League school.
Bristol resorts to innuendo since the facts won’t do. “But the way Wendy Davis did it – by getting married and leaving him as soon as the ink dried on his last check – is downright pathetic.”
Jeff and Wendy Davis were together for years after her graduation from Harvard in 1993 to their divorce in 2005. She was a successful attorney and capable of contributing to the family budget that paid off her college loans. Married people pool resources, Bristol. While I am sure you haven’t had that experience in a relationship yet with a man worthy of that level of trust, your lack of experience in a healthy relationship doesn’t give you the insight to be able to dissect the relationships of others. In point of fact, quite the opposite.
Bristol’s finishing salvo, or not: “Plus, it perfectly shows that – no matter what they say – feminism is a farce. If you truly believe in strong, independent women, you’d be a conservative.”
“They”? Feminism is the only reason you’re able to live and work and vote as a single mother without a lot of societal hurdles to overcome. Feminism is the only reason you’re able to get an education. Feminism is the only reason the quality of medical care for women rivals that of men’s in the modern world. Feminism allows you to own property bought with that reality show money your kid helped you earn, allows you to say yes to sex, an experience you will recall you are already familiar with, and allows you to become a lawyer, an experience you seem hell-bent on deriding another feminist for.
If you want to stand against abortion, Bristol, fine, but let me be clear. You have yet to show the world you are Wendy Davis’s equal as a woman, a wife, a scholar, a parent, an activist, a champion, a professional, or a politician. Until you do, shut up and take notes.
You can read the
condescending, snarky BS ramblings letter at Patheos.com