So the question proposed to you is this: If the Supreme Court of the United States of America tells you that you cannot place extra restrictions on voter registration that go above and beyond what the Federal registration restrictions are, what do you do if you still want to disenfranchise a bunch of voters and simultaneously kill a bipartisan immigration bill?
If you’re Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), your answer is, “Write an unconstitutional amendment to the immigration bill allowing states to nullify Federal law and ask for proof of citizenship at the time of voter registration.” It takes balls the size of Ted Cruz’ balls to openly defy the Supreme Court within literal hours of their decision, but that’s exactly what Cruz did in proposing his amendment to the Gang of Eight’s immigration bill that would “permit states to require proof of citizenship for registration to vote in elections for federal office.” Because you know, “judicial review, schmushmicial schma-schmoo.”
What a lot of people don’t know is that on his way to proposing the voter ID amendment, Cruz dropped a piece of paper, his notes, and on it he had scribbled in both crayon and lipstick, five more amendments he’d like to add to the immigration bill.
#5. Every Immigrant Must Pledge Alliance To The One True, American, Christian God
Who cares about the pesky First Amendment’s protections against establishing a state religion? Clearly the Founding Fathers never saw the part of the Constitution — somewhere in the back or buried in the preamble somewhere — that gives Ted Cruz, and Ted Cruz ONLY powers to write whatever laws he wants without having to worry about judicial review or SCOTUS oversight. So suck it, immigrants, we’ve had religious freedom in this country for 236 years, but now that we have a smarmy, greasy, Canadian Snakeoil Salesman from Texas (figure that one the fuck out) you have to pray to OUR* God on OUR* terms.
#4. Slavery is Legal But Only On Alternating Wednesdays
Hey, while we’re dredging up unconstitutional social paradigms and putting them into new laws, why not bring back slavery? Oh, come on you sissies! It’s not like Ted wants to make it legal all day, every day! He just wants slavery to be brought back on alternating Wednesdays so that employers can knock down their employees’ hours enough to not have to pay for health care. That’s right, blame Obamacare for Ted Cruz bringing slavery back one day a week.
#3. State Law Can Trump Federal Law Any Time They Want It To
What good Texan wouldn’t try to codify nullification into an immigration bill?
#2. The State of Texas Can Declare War On Behalf of the United States
We all know that Cruz is a proud Texan. We also know that Texas is one of the most fiercely independent states in the nation. This is why Cruz thought it might be good to take the whole “power to declare war” thing away from the evil Federal government and hand it right over to Rick Perry in the Texas governor’s office. And if there’s anyone qualified to make tough decisions about going to war, it’s the guy who couldn’t even remember the three branches of government he hated so much he wanted to close them down for good.
#1. Ted Cruz Is the King of AmericaLand, U.S.A.
This is really what Cruz’s amendment was about, well, okay maybe not being the king of America. However, it’s clear that Cruz sees himself as being able to play outside the rules. He doesn’t think that the Supreme Court should have a say in whether something is lawful or not, only Ted Cruz has that power. His hubris is only matched by his appalling lack of civility and decorum. He’s the asshole in the room who thinks he’s smarter than everyone because no one can challenge him when really it’s more a matter of not wanting to be within a foot or two of him. Only the most arrogant of lawmakers would propose an unconstitutional amendment hours after the Supreme Court ruled something unconstitutional, and that’s exactly what he did.